Mommy is who I pretend to be

I might be a full time stay-at-home mom but that doesn’t mean that I am “MOMMY” all the time.  In fact, the person I am when my kids aren’t looking is a very different person…

MOMMY is patient.  Mommy will allow the children to put on their own pyjamas.  She will watch as they put their leg repeatedly into the same hole and coach them through it with enthusiasm.

I am not patient.  In fact, having to watch someone struggle to do something that I know I could do without any effort is an effective method of torture for me.

MOMMY can listen to long elaborate stories that don’t make any sense.  She even makes eye contact and nods and smiles and laughs and makes sad faces and asks questions.

I prefer a “get to the point” type of story.  I especially despise the stories that have no point whatsoever.

MOMMY is never too tired to read one more book.

So.  F#%^ing.  Exhausted.

MOMMY cooks healthy meals and stresses the importance of eating vegetables and trying new foods.

New food makes me uneasy.  If I could order pizza every night I would.

MOMMY takes the kids for walks to the playground because fresh air and exercise are important.

The gym and I are not friends.  I don’t like to walk or run or climb things.  I like park benches.  Or the swings, I could do the swings as long as I don’t pump my legs too much because that’s tiring and I don’t want to be sore tomorrow.

MOMMY doesn’t let the kids watch too much television.

Binge-watching Netflix should be an Olympic sport.

MOMMY has strict limits on video games and tablet time.

My internet went down once for an entire hour.  Worst hour of my life.

MOMMY is not afraid to speak up, to call someone out or to walk around covered in spilled milkshake.

I get embarrassed pretty easily so I try to avoid awkward situations at all costs.

MOMMY is a teacher.  She can come up with age appropriate lesson plans for preschoolers and has the ability to help her children figure out the right answer on their own.

Who really needs math anyway? That’s what calculators are for…

MOMMY realizes that making memories can be messy.

#NeatFreak #OCD #ewwmyhandsaredirty

I know I sound like a total hypocrite.  Why can’t I just be myself around my kids? Because I want them to be BETTER THAN ME.

The world has changed me from an innocent, fun-loving child to a grumpy and tired adult and I’ll be damned if that’s what my children see me as.  So I pretend to be excited about every little thing.  I pretend to have a limitless energy supply.  I pretend to be a good example for them to follow in the hopes that they will grow up to become a better person than I am. (And, while I don’t want to admit it, I think all this pretending might actually be turning me into a better person.)

But one thing that MOMMY and I have in common is that we will both do anything for our children, no matter how embarrassing or exhausting it may be.

 

 

Author: Vanessa Rapisarda

Stay at home mother of three, aspiring writer & parenting blogger