Who Did You Talk To About Your Postpartum Depression and What Was Their Reaction?

6. Who did you talk to about your postpartum depression and what was their reaction?

Who did you talk to about your postpartum depression and what was their reaction? Who did you talk to about your postpartum depression and what was their reaction?

I tried to talk to my husband but I hated the way he felt so sorry for me and just didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was burdening him. So I talked to my family doctor. He was very empathetic and supportive and called my husband into the room and told him “this is not her fault – she cannot control it” and then it was easier for me to talk to him after that.  – Vanessa

The first person was my sister, who was nothing but supportive and wanted to do anything to help me. – Anonymous

My health visitor was wonderful, she had her suspicions for a while but I wouldn’t tell her anything. She organised specialist support out of area as I couldn’t access services at work. She was just lovely. She made sure I knew that she didn’t think I was a bad mum, she kept pointing out how good my bond was with my child despite it all. – Alexandra

I talk to my sister in law, my doctor and midwife. Their reaction was, medication, go get help, my sister in law didn’t help much.  It wasn’t until I attempted suicide that people realized how serious this was. – Amber 

My husband is the only person that knows my struggle. He is so supportive even on the days I feel like giving up. – Anonymous

Anyone who would listen. They were concerned but it never felt like I reached anyone who understood. No one was shocked. I guess there was zero reaction really. Except my husband. He was genuinely concerned and wanted to help me feel better. – Nicole

I have talked to several friends and my therapist. They were very supportive and understanding. Most were by surprised because they had experienced something similar. – Anonymous

My doctor said “you have a lot of anxiety I can see it” when I was being tormented by a dysphoric mania. And said “you have to try harder for your daughter and snap out of it”. When I asked my psychiatrist if I would ever get better, she said “I don’t know, I’m not a fortune teller.” My husband said “its JUST anxiety” as if it was not a big deal but I tried telling people this was different…and it was. I had postpartum dysphoric mania and an agitated clinical depression at the sane time and was basically dying. I begged hospitals to admit me and they got angry and said “just go home and keep taking Prozac” but the Prozac made everything worse, they didn’t believe me. – Brittany

My sister and mom. They were very understanding as my sister just went through it – Jodi

Doctor and understanding. Ordered meds and sent me to behavior pysch MD  – Anonymous

My ob/gyn. She was very understanding. – Ashley G.

My mom. She was supportive. – Anonymous

I talked to my doctor finally and her reaction was extremely empathetic and understanding. – Amanda

My husband and he was very worried. – Anonymous

My husband saw it come on very strong at 3 months (I hid other symptoms very well up until then), and he immediately took me to my gyno and my mom came to stay with us for two weeks. – Katy 

I was open with my fiance both times. And I pretty much tell everyone. He was pretty supportive although at times he didn’t understand. And other people just don’t get it. You feel very judged. – Samantha

I talked to my husband because he was always asking me why was I crying and I never knew what to say. He said that he was going to help me that I didn’t have to do it alone because I was not alone.– Anonymous

My family and husband do not understand so I started seeing a therapist. – Melissa

My doctor. She was very helpful and gave me anxiety meds and recommended a obgyn who deals with ppd. – Marcella

For a long time no one. Then my husband, then my doctor. My husband encouraged me to get help. I felt brushed off by my doctor. – Anonymous

I talked to my fiance and baby’s dad. He was supportive, would hold and hug me and make sure I knew it was ok. – Emily

My SO first- he didn’t understand. Then my parents. They told me I was overreacting. Finally my doctor, she was very concerned when I broke down at my two week pp check-up. Now, I talk openly about it as much as I can. – Lorena from Motherhood Unfiltered 

First my mom, and she kept telling me it was normal and everyone goes through it but I knew it was more than “ baby blues” and then my husband, and he didn’t know how to help me the first time around. The second time around he was much more understanding and helpful. – Chelsea

I knew my husband would understand. He has always understood, or at least listened, to everything I have gone through. I could tell he was trying to be the calm and collected one for me, but was actually really worried. I know he knows I would never hurt the baby, but he does worry about how I take care of myself. He is always checking in with me about it, it helps keep me grounded. – Kathryn

Husband – it was extremely scary for him to think he wouldn’t have a wife or the kids not having a mother – Anonymous

My husband, he didn’t know how to help but wanted to.  A support group online, gave advice, and then I brought it up to my doctor and she was happy I found help and is working on helping me – Krista

Husband, who was like “ok take care of yourself then” – Karen from Pregnancy and Postpartum Mental Health of Lancaster County

After my diagnosis, I really only told my family who I think wanted to believe at first that my doctor was misguided, until they came out to visit a few days later and saw the symptoms for themselves. After a few months I wrote a rather raw blog post, and I was overwhelmed by how many mothers shared my experience. It helped me a ton seeing that I’m not alone. – Leah Elizabeth from Lottie & Me

My mom-in-law and she was very informative and supportive. – Jessica

No one. – Theresa

I spoke to my husband and my parents. Now I speak to everyone because it’s my mission to break the silence, but when I spoke up to family, I was told I was just tired. My suffering was brushed off. – Amanda from Mom Like Me

A friend- she told me I was crazy and oppressed and possessed by a demon spirit.  – Anonymous

My husband first. His reaction was not so supportive. – Jacqueline from Planning in the Deep

My fiancé , he was supportive and had me go to the doctor to reach out for help – Haylie

They all just knew my son was a “difficult baby” I was aware I had ppd but didn’t really talk to many people about it. – Crystal from Heart and Home Doula

My health care providers and husband. Husband was very supportive. – Anonymous

Husband, doctor, friends. All were supportive – Anonymous

My mom, doctor, partner. All encouraged me to talk to a therapist – Anonymous

My husband- he was well-meaning but somewhat unhelpful at times. My mom- she was a huge source of comfort and reassurance. My family doctor and therapist- both assured me it would get better. – Anonymous

My daughter’s pediatrician, my nurse practitioner and my OB/GYN all handed me referral sheets for mental health practitioners but I couldn’t get myself to call. My husband and mother shrugged. My best friend wanted to move into my house for a week to help (but that seemed overwhelming). – Eda

Best friends… They offer support and encouragement. – Anonymous

A few other mom friends but never told anyone how serious it was. After my arrest due to my psychosis many many friends of mine came out to say I had asked for help and talked to them about this for years. – Kathleen

My gynecologist first, she was concerned and prescribed medication right away and got me into counseling. My best friends were sympathetic. – Stephanie

Only recently I mentioned it to my best friend and she was surprised and felt bad that she didn’t know before. She said, “why didn’t you say anything?” I pointed out that I DID say things the only way I knew how but that ultimately I didn’t recognize what was happening to me because I just thought this was my new reality. – Yonat from Embodied Therapy Santa Rosa

My husband. He wanted to understand but his actions made things worse. – Beth


Postpartum Depression Triggers Postpartum Depression Triggers

Asking for help with postpartum depression is one of the toughest obstacles to overcome.

It’s never easy for a mother to admit that they need help.  For many women who have never battled with mental health issues before, venturing into the scary and unknown world of psychiatric disorders is terrifying.   And our biggest fear is being separated from our babies or pegged as an “unfit mother.”  Our husbands, partners and those closest to us often understand because they see us at our worst and know we’re not ourselves.  But do they know what to do to help us?

What can we do to change this?

Mental illness will always be scary and daunting.  But postpartum depression can be treated and so it’s always important to ask for help no matter how terrifying it is.  The more we speak up about it, the less intimidating it will become and the closer we get to ending the stigma.  New and expectant parents should learn all they can about postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders so that they can recognize the earliest signs and symptoms.  There are so many places that a mother can seek help and advice that there’s no reason she should have to stay silent.


Related Reading:

9 Reasons Why Mothers Don’t Speak Up About Postpartum Depression

14 Ways to Help a Mother with Postpartum Depression

6 Ways to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression

How to Find the Courage to Talk About Postpartum Depression

 

What Was The Worst Symptom of Postpartum Depression For You?

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How Long Has it Been Since Your Postpartum Depression First Started?

Continue reading “How Long Has it Been Since Your Postpartum Depression First Started?”

How To Know If Online Therapy Is The Right Choice for Moms

With the variety of different online resources available to moms with postpartum depression and/or anxiety, how do you know which one is the right choice for you?

Thanks to the internet, moms suffering from a postpartum mood disorder can find help from the comfort of their own homes.  From their cell phone or computer they can quickly and easily get in touch with someone who understands their situation and can offer advice and counseling.  It might be a game changer for the mental health community but is online therapy the right choice for moms with postpartum depression or anxiety?

One company, eVideo Counselor, is looking to make sure of it.  Their success in helping veterans with PTSD and substance abuse patients find hope again, has led them to reach out to the maternal mental health community.  I had an opportunity to check out their services for myself and discovered just how beneficial their services can be for moms with postpartum depression.

Here are some tips to help you figure out if this is the right choice for you.
How To Know if Online Therapy Is The Right Choice for Moms
*This is a sponsored post for which I received compensation. As always, the opinions in this post are my own. This post may also contain affiliate links.  Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.

Finding The Right Therapist

Moms are nothing if not thorough.  When we got pregnant, we made sure to find the right doctor to deliver our baby and the right pediatrician to take care of them.  And by “right” I mean someone that we trusted, were comfortable with and could talk openly to.  So it’s a no-brainer that we look for the same qualities in a therapist.

One of the biggest hesitations that moms have when it comes to online therapy is who their therapist will be.  How can we trust this person on the other end of the screen who could be who-knows-where?  Will it be awkward? Do they have real credentials?  Is this all a scam?

Thankfully, eVideo Counselor has taken away that uncertainty by guaranteeing that their counselors are all well trained and licensed, undergo thorough background checks and are consistently monitored to ensure high-performance.

Most importantly, their video conferencing sessions make sure that you get  the personalized face to face contact that a mom with postpartum depression so desperately needs.  Your therapist will be able to read your body language and facial expressions in order to understand all the things that you want to say but just don’t know how to.  At first, it might feel a little bit awkward.  But eventually, video conferencing with your therapist will feel no different than meeting with them in person.

All eVideo Counselor sessions are also HIPAA compliant, which means you can speak freely and openly with your therapist and know that everything you say is private and confidential.

6 Ways to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression
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What If It Doesn’t Work?

Therapy does not work for everyone.  And sometimes it does work, without you even realizing it.  At my very first therapy session nearly 7 years ago, all I did was cry for the entire hour.  I felt like I had wasted everyone’s time.  Little did I know, having a safe place to let all my emotions go was exactly what I needed.  It was part of the healing process and put me on the path to recovery.

One of the best things that eVideo Counselor offers is a system for measuring whether or not online therapy is working for you.  

Prior to beginning online therapy with an eVideo Counselor, you’ll be given a short online questionnaire.  This is similar to the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) that is normally used by doctors and care providers in the first few weeks postpartum, but more detailed.  You will also be asked the same questionnaire halfway through your therapy sessions and at the end, to see how your answers have changed.

There are additional and more extensive tests offered as well, but this system of metrics offers something that mothers with a postpartum mood disorder desperately need – validation. 

The tests can determine whether you are suffering from clinical postpartum depression or anxiety, or a combination of the two.  For mothers who aren’t 100% certain of their diagnosis, or who might still be in denial about what they’re feeling, this is a huge benefit and step in the right direction.

Your therapist will also go over your test results with you in detail.  This additional step is unlike anything offered by a doctor’s office.  Explaining why and how you answered the questions the way you did will give your therapist a better idea of how to care for you.  They will also explain the significance of the questions and provide you with a plan on how to manage your symptoms.

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Getting Your Doctor Involved

A legitimate company that wants to help you find healing and success will want to involve all aspects of your healthcare. Mental illness can cause a combination of physical and psychological symptoms.  It’s important to have a team of medical professionals working together to provide you with the best care possible.

eVideo Counselor has already thought of that and makes it possible for your therapist to coordinate with your healthcare provider.  This additional service means there won’t be any surprises when you go into your doctor’s office, and you won’t have to repeat everything over and over again.

This care co-ordination service is something that can help put an end to stories like Jessica Porten’s (a.k.a. the mom who had the cops called on her when she went to the hospital seeking help for postpartum depression).  Having a licensed therapist vouch for your symptoms, plus have the test results to show for it, can make a difference in how you will be treated by the medical system.

9 Reasons Why Mothers Don't Talk About Postpartum Depression .

There is a lot of fear and stigma around maternal mental health, which is one of the main reasons why mothers don’t speak up about postpartum depression.  Online therapy offers services that can help break down those barriers and encourage mothers to feel confident enough to speak up.

In addition to the more common benefits of online therapy, such as convenient scheduling, anonymity and cost, eVideo Counselor offers extra perks that make therapy sessions more well-rounded.  Because of this, they have lower no-show rates and higher success rates.

But the truth is, if you really want to know if online therapy is the right choice for you, you need to try it out yourself.

All it takes is a few short steps to get started with an eVideo Counselor right now. Click here to begin.


How To Know if Online Therapy Is The Right Choice for Moms

How To Know if Online Therapy Is The Right Choice for Moms

How to know if Online Therapy is the right choice for moms

Kara’s Postpartum Depression Story

Continue reading “Kara’s Postpartum Depression Story”

The Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression vs. No Postpartum Mood Disorder

I’ve given birth to three kids, experienced three similar pregnancies,  labored through three natural, drug-free births, but ended up with three very different postpartum recovery periods…

What’s the difference between the baby blues vs. postpartum depression?  It’s a question that many mothers have asked themselves because it’s hard to know for sure if you’re suffering from a maternal mental health disorder or not.

The baby blues is not an actual mental health disorder, but a common experience in the early days postpartum, however some women don’t experience it at all.  Postpartum depression is often explained away as a bad case of the baby blues when, in reality, it’s much more serious.

To help end some of the confusion, here’s what it felt like first hand.
The Baby Blues vs Postpartum Depression vs No Postpartum Mood Disorder
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust.  **Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.

The Baby Blues

Shortly after the birth of my first child I experienced symptoms of what I believe were the common baby blues.  They didn’t last long and they didn’t disrupt my life (much).

The mood swings were my first indicator.  I remember watching my husband interact with the baby while our two dogs sat at his feet watching.  I thought about how the dogs had no idea how much life was changing and I instantly burst into tears.  I’m not usually a sensitive or emotional person so this was a sure sign to me that I was experiencing some type of hormonal imbalance. It was very similar to the mood swings I experienced during pregnancy. [Try tracking your moods with a printable mood tracker]

The sleep deprivation added to my emotional state.  The way someone would feel after staying up partying all night long (which may or may not be a familiar feeling for me *wink wink*).  I felt irritable and edgy but sleep, when I could get it, was welcome and helped to alleviate the stress. [Keep track of how much sleep you’re getting each night].

My brain was foggy and I was easily distracted. The “mom brain” was probably one of the hardest symptoms for me to manage as someone who prides themselves on having a great memory.  Suddenly I couldn’t multi-task because I would forget what I was doing in the first place.  I wrote down absolutely everything in a log book, significant or not, in a vain attempt to remember everything.

I felt an overwhelming urge to protect him and I worried a lot about everything he did.  I worried about holding him too much, or not enough.  I worried about the way others were holding him.  I worried about his diaper being put on properly.  I worried about such small and insignificant things (in addition to all the normal motherhood worrying like how much he was eating, pooping and sleeping). [Document your worries in a worry workbook]

6 Warning Signs That it's More Than The Baby Blues
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I didn’t bond with the baby as much as I thought I would.  I spent a lot of time talking to him but the lack of a response discouraged me.  I wasn’t absolutely head over heels in love with him the way motherhood is portrayed in the media, but I didn’t feel anything negative either.  I was just so tired and still adjusting to this new lifestyle.

We didn’t get out of the house much at first.  I was extremely overprotective of him and convinced that he would contract bad germs from strangers.  Aside from worrying, I honestly just didn’t feel like leaving the comfort of my own home.

Carseat "No Touching" Sign
Wish I had one of these signs from NikkiDanielDesigns on Etsy.ca

It eventually went away on it’s own.  Similar to a really bad case of PMS, I started to feel “normal” again.  I didn’t cry at the mere thought of something sad and I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and socialize.  By the time he was 2 months old he was smiling, making eye contact and interacting and I did fall head over heels in love with him.


Postpartum Depression

After the birth of my second child, things felt a little bit different.  That first baby that I didn’t bond with?  Well he was two years old now and the absolute center of my world.  So for the first couple months, things were monotonous and scheduled and boring – as long as the baby was concerned, at least.

She had basic needs and I didn’t try too hard to bond with her. I figured it would happen eventually, so I didn’t put too much pressure on myself this time.  The first two months after her birth were extremely busy in my social life so I didn’t have time to stew over the fact that life as I knew it had completely changed.

But when the dust settled and I was left at home, alone, with a toddler and a newborn who wouldn’t stop crying – things changed…
13 Things About Postpartum Depression All New Moms Need to Know
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I was tired and emotional but this time I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried.  Every time I closed my eyes I thought I heard the baby cry and got up to check on her.  Sometimes it was 15 times in an hour but I couldn’t stop myself because I knew the one time I didn’t check on her would be the time something bad happened.  If someone else offered to look after her while I took a nap, then I would lie in bed for 2 hours worrying if she was alright.

The mood swings were extreme and uncontrollable.  As the weeks went on, I started to despise her.  I blamed her for everything I was feeling.  She felt my negative feelings and cried harder and longer which made me dislike her even more.  But then I would think about how I’ve always wanted to have a daughter and I would suffocate her in love – until she started crying again.  The slightest things could send me into fits of rage and I got offended and jealous very easily.

A Mother's Guide to Postpartum Rage
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I was terrified to leave the house with her.  I was certain she would cry and I wouldn’t be able to handle her and everyone would stare at me and think I was a horrible mother.  So I stayed in my house where no one could judge me.  I avoided contact with almost everyone.

And the worst part of all was that I lied about what I was feeling to everyone.  I felt humiliated and inadequate and worthless but I hid it the best I could.  I dressed the baby up in cute outfits and took cute pictures of her to post on social media.  I posted captions about how much I loved having a baby girl and how all of my dreams had come true but in reality I just wanted to rewind life to a time before she existed.

50 Reasons Why Moms Don't Talk About Postpartum Depression

The more I tried to “fix” things, the worse they got.  Even when I tried to “snap out of it” the baby was still reacting to my negative energy and crying all day and night.  My brain was full of terrible ways I could get her to shut up but instead I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for what seemed like hours.  The guilt eventually built up huge walls that closed in on me.  I even contemplated suicide.

For months I battled in silence, not knowing it was postpartum depression.  I kept waiting for this funk to pass, waiting for the “hormones to regulate” but they never did, not without help, that is.  Read more about my personal battle with postpartum depression here.

For more information about postpartum depression and other maternal mental health disorders, check out this comprehensive guide from Parenting Pod. If you need help with what you believe might be postpartum depression, you can speak to an online therapist from Better Help.  Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/

What to do if you think you have postpartum depression
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No Postpartum Mood Disorder

Considering I went to hell and back with my last baby, I must have been absolutely crazy to have another one, right?  The postpartum depression was forefront in my mind but this time I felt more prepared.  I knew what to look for, and I knew that I needed to speak up if I felt something was even a little bit off.

The first time she was placed in my arms, I felt it.  That immediate love that legends were made of.  I couldn’t wait to hold her and I didn’t want to do anything else except just stare at her perfect face.

The early days with her were peaceful and calm – despite the sleepless nights.  The other two children often played with each other and so I had her all to myself.  The fact that she couldn’t talk back to me actually made me want to spend MORE time with her!

Trying to balance three children was definitely a challenge, and extremely overwhelming at times, but instead of being afraid and nervous and frustrated –  I felt excited and determined to make the best of it!

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I felt like I could control my mood.  Even on days when she was extra fussy or I was extra tired, I always managed to stay calm and relaxed around her.  I never felt a sad or negative thought about her.  And she was a calm and relaxed baby because of it.

Initially I worried about how the older children would handle the new baby.  But they never once showed any signs of jealousy towards her and completely welcomed her into our family.  I cried more tears of joy in her first few months than I ever have in my life.

I worried about how much she ate, pooped and slept and whether she was hitting her milestones on time.  Mostly because I was always comparing her to the other children.  In an attempt to get things right this time, I asked a lot of questions, I sought a lot of help and I socialized as often as possible.

I took all three kids out as often as I could.  It was next to impossible to manage all of them in public (and it still is) but I sure didn’t want to get stuck inside the house with them!

The Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression vs. No Postpartum Mood Disorder
This popular chart has helped many women understand the difference in their symptoms but it is not all-inclusive as everyone experiences symptoms differently. Speak to your doctor if you have any concerns about what you are feeling.
*NEW: Download a Digital Print File of this infographic on Etsy!

When it comes to the baby blues vs. postpartum depression vs. no postpartum mood disorder, I can’t say for certain what factors affected these different outcomes.  It was only in hindsight that I was able to really identify the differences.  But regardless of my three experiences, I feel the same kind of love for all three of my children.  When I think about life with a newborn, I try my hardest to reflect on the happiness of my last one, but will never forget the darkness that came before.


The Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression vs. No Postpartum Mood Disorder
This popular chart has helped many women understand the differences, but it is not meant to be a replacement for an actual diagnosis as all women are different. Always talk to your doctor if you are concerned about your mental health.