Want to learn more about the features and benefits of surrogacy? Is it something you’ve considered for starting your own family? Or perhaps you would like to know more about helping someone else by becoming a surrogate? Read on to learn more about how surrogacy works.
*This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author. This post may also contain affiliate and/or paid links. Rest assured that we only work with companies and individuals that we trust. While some of those companies and individuals may work in the medical field, this post is not intended to be a substitution for medical advice. Always speak to your doctor if you have concerns about your mental or physical health.
Surrogacy is an agreement that includes a woman (the surrogate) that decides to carry and give birth in place of another person or a couple (the intended parents).
Surrogate mothers also receive many benefits on their surrogacy journey, and if you decide to become a surrogate, you will not only help other people to become parents but you will also be paid and get different benefits to support you on your surrogacy journey. Surrogate moms are of much value to couples that can’t conceive on their own or would choose this option for some other reason maybe, but it is never a simple decision to make.
What is Surrogacy?
As mentioned in the beginning, surrogacy is an agreement, but it also involves complex medical procedures from start to finish. Yet, it is a process that brings tremendous joy to the intended parents and puts a surrogate mother on the amazing journey of a lifetime that can benefit her and intended parents alike. Life is being created as a result and this is a great result of the surrogacy journey.
The Definition of Surrogacy
Surrogacy is a process where a person agrees to carry a child for another couple. Usually it happens because the couple can’t have children, but they may also opt for a surrogacy solution because of some other aspect of their lives that is affecting them.
Surrogacy agreement, should one be initiated, is supported by a legal action to make it valid in law terms. It is because of the importance and complexity of the surrogacy process that it is covered by rules and regulations that help to define relations of all the parties involved.
Surrogacy Controversy
Some controversy about using a surrogate to have a baby still exists, and everyone should be aware of this. The legal requirements can be complex and they can be vastly different from country to country and from state to state (if you are from the US).
Nevertheless, whether it’s because of health problems or other highly important factors, surrogacy could still be the best option for you and your loved partner depending on your life situation.
Benefits of Surrogacy
Depending on the particular life situation of both surrogate and intended parents, there are different benefits for everyone involved. Some of the common ones are:
High success rates. Modern surrogacy process ensures that the surrogacy journey is healthy and secure for everyone involved.
Intended parents keep genetic connection to their child. There are intended parents that feel the need to have a biological connection to their children, and gestational surrogacy can make it happen.
Since it is a common practice for the surrogate and the intended parents to make a legal agreement, everyone’s responsibilities and obligations are known in advance which secures clear conscience for everyone.
Surrogate’s experience of pregnancy. While pregnancy is certainly a burden on the body, it also presents an amazing journey of bringing a new life into the world.
Compensation and other financial benefits. Surrogates also get compensated for being surrogates and they usually receive numerous financial benefits such as medical procedures fees, monthly allowances, pregnancy clothes reimbursements and possibly many others depending on the agreement.
How Much Do Surrogate Mothers Get Paid?
How much a surrogate mother gets paid will vary greatly depending on where in the world you live. Of course in some parts of the world surrogacy is not even allowed, so it is better to gather as much valuable info on it as possible before you decide to opt-in.
For the US locations, a rough estimate of base payment is from $30,000 to $60,000 and on top, you can add remuneration for other costs and expenses a surrogate mom has. All of this will depend on many aspects of your particular surrogate journey, so if you are interested it is better to contact an actual agency where you can get a more precise estimate.
Do You Need to Hire a Surrogacy Agency?
The surrogacy process is a complex process from biological, psychological, medical, and legal points of view.
Usually, it is better to hire a certified agency that can help everyone involved through each stage of the surrogacy process. Agency personnel will consist of professionals from different backgrounds, who will readily assist all surrogacy activities from start to finish.
They can help through every aspect, from medicinal and psychological to legal, and prepare for surrogates a benefits package that will almost always include various forms of compensation and other important help.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are many valuable benefits that both surrogates and intended parents can have from going through the surrogacy process. For surrogates that includes a life changing experience of carrying a child and also different benefits, including financial compensation. For intended parents, the birth of their child may very well be the most precious thing that they could have ever imagined.
Author Bio
Andrea is the Founder and Director of the Surrogacy Center of Philadelphia. She entered the world of assisted reproduction over twenty years ago as a three-time egg donor. The experience profoundly impacted her, and she maintains contact with her recipient families to this day. Andrea started the Hawaii Surrogacy Center, which is the leading provider of surrogacy services in her home state. Upon relocating to Pennsylvania, she sought to provide the same warm and highly personalized service to families in the Greater Philadelphia region.
*This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author. This post may also contain affiliate and/or paid links. Rest assured that we only work with companies and individuals that we trust. While some of those companies and individuals may work in the medical field, this post is not intended to be a substitution for medical advice. Always speak to your doctor if you have concerns about your mental or physical health.
The coronavirus has completely flipped most people’s lives upside down and disrupted their normal routines. One of those routines being an annual checkup with the doctor. Countless people have missed their annual cancer checkups due to physician offices being closed or because that precautionary measure took a back seat to more pressing matters. Doctors are now urging their female patients to schedule these appointments for overall wellness, colonoscopies and mammograms.
While we dearly hope you will never need it, we at Breast Cancer Car Donations put together a guide on how to maintain a healthy diet if you or a loved one finds themselves needing chemotherapy treatment. A healthy diet is especially important at a time like this when your body may not be at its full strength due to the cancer treatment. You need all the vitamins and nutrients you can get to help yourself feel strong and to fight off any infections or ailments that may find its way to you.
Chemotherapy can come with its very own side effects, many of which can interfere with your normal eating habits. The radiation treatment may alter your appetite and your sense of taste and smell. It may make you feel nauseous, making it difficult to keep food down. Another side effect is severe dry mouth and mouth sores, making mealtime especially difficult. Diarrhea and/or constipation is common and may lead to weight loss or gain. All these potential symptoms will alter your normal eating routine and that’s precisely why we put together the guide below.
Of course, if these tips and all else fails, never hesitate to consult your physician, a nurse or a dietician to review your situation and help you develop a plan to combat whatever dietary-related symptoms are affecting you. Continue reading for dietary inspiration! Here are 20 practical tips to help maintain a healthy diet during chemotherapy.
Water may become distasteful; try flavored water or adding lemon.
Get enough protein — eggs, beans and fish may taste better than meat.
Eliminate junk food and empty calories.
Try new foods; they might stimulate your sense of taste.
Eat soft foods, including protein milkshakes, if you’re having trouble swallowing.
If you’re gaining weight, eat lots of vegetables and low-fat foods.
If you’re losing weight, eat lots of oatmeal, hummus, nut butters and yogurt.
Take multivitamins if you are not able to eat enough food.
For mouth sores, stick with soft foods and avoid citrus and tomato-based foods.
For dry mouth, ask your doctor for an appropriate mouth rinse.
Fight constipation with high-fiber foods and plenty of water.
Fight diarrhea by avoiding caffeine, raw vegetables, sugary drinks and caffeine.
Avoid alcohol — It interferes with chemo treatments and contributes to nausea.
Avoid spicy, greasy and sugary foods.
Don’t drink too much green tea; Its antioxidants may disrupt chemo treatments.
Wash raw foods thoroughly to prevent infections.
Don’t eat foods past their expiration date.
Don’t eat food from bulk bins or salad bars.
Consult your doctor about consumption of soy products.
Consult your doctor or a registered dietician if you continue to have problems.
Author Bio
Jeremy Silverstein is Vice President of Operations and Vehicle Dispatching at Breast Cancer Car Donations. During the years he’s been with the organization, he has become quite an expert in the industry and has handled tens of thousands of donated vehicles.
Although pain’s primary purpose is to send our body signals when there’s a problem, sometimes it can overstay its welcome. When this happens, doctors refer to it as chronic pain. This is something that countless mothers nationwide have to deal with, so know you’re not alone if you’re trying to cope with this condition. To help you through this, here are some noninvasive ways to manage chronic pain.
*This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author. This post may also contain affiliate and/or paid links. Rest assured that we only work with companies and individuals that we trust. While some of those companies and individuals may work in the medical field, this post is not intended to be a substitution for medical advice. Always speak to your doctor if you have concerns about your mental or physical health.
Hot and Cold Packs
For specific injuries or types of pain, using hot and cold packs is one of the best ways to find relief. Hot and cold packs work in opposite ways, but they both treat pain. When you experience sharp, intense flashes of pain, ice can restrict blood flow to that area so that you don’t feel as much pain. On the contrary, heat works by increasing blood flow to a given area to relax your muscles and repair damaged tissue.
You can make hot and cold packs at home, but if they aren’t working, ask your doctor to recommend one to manage your pain more effectively.
Mindfulness Techniques
Your physical health can affect your mental health, but the converse is also true. In fact, when you employ techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercise, it helps you focus on calming your body down when you’re experiencing pain. Mastering control of these techniques allows your body to inhibit the fight-or-flight response, which is an impulse that helped humans evolve when predators were nearby. Unfortunately, when our fight-or-flight response is functioning when it shouldn’t be, it can cause tension in our muscles and lead to chronic pain. Luckily, mindfulness is another time-tested method that offers our bodies some benefits.
Massages
Massage therapy not only makes us feel good but also provides long-lasting relief from chronic pain. Massages can help you deal with pain by reducing tension in your joints and muscles. This relaxing sensation can distract your brain and override incoming pain signals, so it offers relief while keeping future problems at bay.
Massages can also lower anxiety and stress levels, which is one of the ways massages can help with autoimmune disease. Purchasing a massage chair for your home will be cheaper in the long run than going to a masseuse, but it will require more upfront costs if you have budgetary concerns.
Overall, chronic pain can make routine life tasks feel unbearable. However, if you harness the power of these noninvasive ways to manage chronic pain, you can take back your life and start living pain free once again.
Author Bio
Christina Duron is a writer living in the Chicagoland area. Her passion for writing and mental health help create thought provoking and engaging pieces and hopes to use them to empower mothers and women to embrace the beauty of motherhood.
IVF surrogacy is becoming a common option for people who cannot carry a pregnancy but wish to share a genetic connection with their babies. Every year, thousands of children are born in the US through the surrogacy process. But what exactly is IVF surrogacy, how and how does it work, and who needs it? Let’s find the answers to these questions.
*This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author. This post may also contain affiliate and/or paid links. Rest assured that we only work with companies and individuals that we trust. While some of those companies and individuals may work in the medical field, this post is not intended to be a substitution for medical advice. Always speak to your doctor if you have concerns about your mental or physical health.
What is IVF surrogacy?
IVF surrogacy is an arrangement in which the surrogate mother agrees to carry and deliver a pregnancy for a couple or individual who cannot do so on their own. The process is an inseparable part of gestational surrogacy. In the IVF process, eggs and sperm from the intended parents or donors are “mixed” in the lab to create the embryo. The embryo is then transferred into the womb of the gestational surrogate, who carries the baby to term.
Who uses IVF surrogacy?
People who often take this rewarding path to parenthood include:
Intended parents who don’t want to pass a hereditary condition to their babies
Steps involved in IVF surrogacy
Step I: Meet with your physician
The first step in the IVF surrogacy process is to schedule a consultation with a fertility specialist. This will allow you to discuss your surrogacy goals, preferences, as well as your personal and family medical history.
Step II: Look for an egg or sperm donor
The next step is to find someone who will provide the egg or sperm for IVF (if you are not using your own genetic materials).
Step III: Embryo Creation
The IVF egg retrieval and fertilization are performed in the lab to create embryos. The embryo is frozen until the surrogate is ready for the transfer procedure.
Step IV: Find a surrogate mother
You will look for a surrogate mother that suits your needs and circumstances and according to surrogate mother cost. Once you have found the right surrogate, your surrogacy agency will complete all the necessary paperwork to ensure the rights of both parties are protected during the process.
Step V: Complete embryo transfer
The embryo will be placed in the surrogate mother’s womb to achieve a pregnancy. Two weeks after the embryo transfer, a blood test is conducted to check if conception has occurred successfully.
Step VI: Take the baby home
Once the gestational carrier gives birth to the baby, she will hand him/her to the intended parents, who would finalize the legal paperwork for parenthood and go home with the new baby.
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IVF surrogacy costs
Couples and individuals pursuing IVF surrogacy can expect to pay between $100,000 and $150,000. However, the cost may vary based on certain factors, such as the surrogate’s state, the fertility clinic you choose to work with, services required during the surrogacy, etc.
The costs of IVF surrogacy can be divided into surrogate compensation, fertility clinic fees, legal fees, and agency fees. The agency fees usually cover all the services needed to ensure a successful surrogacy journey, including background checks, screenings, advertising, matching, support, and counseling.
Conclusion
IVF surrogacy is an exciting way to build a family. It gives intended parents the chance to have biological children, regardless of their age, sexual orientation, or background. People who may consider IVF surrogacy include infertile couples, single individuals, LGBTQ people, etc.
Author Bio
Natalie Bowes, B.A. (Integrative Physiology with focus on Endocrinology, Immunology, and Microbiology) Intended Parents Coordinator and Educator at fertile.com.
Natalie looks after the hopeful parents walking through the doors of RSMC and makes sure their parenthood journey progresses smoothly and successfully. Her past patient care experience and academic feats allow her to help intended parents understand every aspect of IVF journey. She loves staying active and enjoys hiking, yoga, and reading.
The surrogacy process can be life changing. If you are struggling with conceiving a baby on your own, this could be an option worth considering. Or, you may be interested in helping someone else begin a family of their own.
Whether you are a hopeful intended parent, or a prospective surrogate considering this journey, you probably have many questions about how this process works. Let’s look at the surrogacy process in chronological order.
*This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author. This post may also contain affiliate and/or paid links. Rest assured that we only work with companies and individuals that we trust. While some of those companies and individuals may work in the medical field, this post is not intended to be a substitution for medical advice. Always speak to your doctor if you have concerns about your mental or physical health.
Prepare for surrogacy
Before embarking on the surrogacy process, it’s important to understand how does surrogacy work? That way, you can decide if it’s the right option for you and your family. You need to learn about the different surrogacy agreements available. Here is a brief overview:
Gestational Surrogacy: In this process, the eggs will be provided by the intended mother (or a donor) and fertilized with sperm from the intended father (or a donor). The surrogate’s eggs are not involved in any way, so the surrogate will not have a genetic link with the baby.
Traditional Surrogacy: Is when the surrogate uses her eggs and is artificially inseminated with sperm from the intended father or a donor. Because her eggs are used, she will be genetically connected to the baby. There are several legal and emotional concerns with this form of surrogacy, therefore, it is not commonly pursued.
Compensated Surrogacy: This is a surrogacy arrangement in which the surrogate is paid an agreed-upon amount for her services.
Altruistic Surrogacy: Is when the surrogate is only compensated for surrogacy-related expenses.
It’s also recommended that you think about your goals and start drafting your surrogacy plan. When working on your plan, you will need to think about the kind of intended parents or surrogate you would like to work with, the type of relationship would you like to have once the baby is born, and much more.
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Find a Match
Once ready, it’s time to find your ideal match. This phase is probably one of the most exciting parts of the whole journey. It’s important not to rush, to make sure you find your surrogacy soul mate, because you will have a very close relationship with your surrogate/intended parents for at least twelve months.
When looking for intended parents or a surrogate, it’s vital that you define your expectations for the journey, and make sure that the other party has the same expectations. A good surrogacy plan will be a boon during this phase.
Medical and Psychological Screening
After the matching, one of the less pleasant phases begins. The surrogate will need to undergo a medical screening and psychological evaluation to confirm that she is in good shape and is psychologically ready to pursue a surrogacy journey.
Complete the Surrogacy Contract
While surrogacy is an exciting journey, there are always ups and downs to navigate; the surrogacy contract will help to protect all parties.
This legal document sets out the rights and obligations of, both, the surrogate, and the intended parents. The agreement also outlines the parentage to be assigned to the child once it is born. Each party should have individual legal representation, so that they can receive personalized advice and protection of their rights. Once both parties agree, the contract is signed.
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Fertility Treatment and Pregnancy
Once the surrogate has been cleared by the fertility doctor, and the contract has been drafted and signed, a nurse at the IVF clinic will schedule the various phases of the IVF cycle. The treatment will vary depending on whether a fresh or frozen embryo transfer will be done.
Fresh Embryo Transfer
For a fresh embryo transfer, the egg donor and surrogate will have to synchronize their cycles. After the egg retrieval, the eggs will be fertilized, and then an embryo will be transferred to the surrogate.
Frozen Embryo Transfer
In a frozen embryo transfer, frozen fertilized eggs from a previous IVF are thawed and transferred to the surrogate. About ten days after the embryo transfer, the surrogate will be tested (via blood test) to confirm pregnancy.
If pregnancy is confirmed, an ultrasound will be done about six weeks later to confirm the heartbeat. Normally, after this ultrasound, the surrogate will be released to her OBGYN to continue with the typical prenatal care, checkups, and ultrasounds. However, if there are complications, a different approach might be recommended.
Welcoming the New Baby
The most exciting moment of the surrogacy journey, the birth is truly a life-changing experience for, both, the prospective parents, and the surrogate. Typically, the parents will accompany the surrogate to the hospital or meet her there, per their arrangement.
Author Bio
David Bull is the founder of MySurrogateMom, an online surrogacy community dedicated to everyone considering pursuing a surrogacy process in the US and Canada. He is a passionate advocate of surrogacy education and access for all seeking their third-party path to parenthood.
Website: MySurrogateMom.com is an independent surrogacy community designed to connect intended parents, surrogates, and egg donors. Finding the right match is an extremely personal process. We have created this space to help people connect with their surrogacy soulmate. Everything we do is meant to bring members together and help them in their search for this special person.
Bladder control, sexual dysfunction, pelvic and lower back pain are common symptoms of pelvic health issues. But pelvic health shouldn’t be something we think of only when there’s a problem. Being proactive about pelvic health can help to avoid many long term problems. For expectant mothers, working on improving pelvic health during pregnancy can not only help during labor and delivery, but also in the postpartum period.
Find out more about the Train4Birth program from Dr. Monika Patel DPT, CSCS and how you can improve your pelvic health during pregnancy.
*This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author. This post may also contain affiliate and/or paid links. Rest assured that I only work with companies and individuals that I trust. While some of those companies and individuals may work in the medical field, this post is not intended to be a substitution for medical advice. Always speak to your doctor if you have concerns about your mental or physical health.
When my employers first asked me to specialize in pelvic health, well, I wasn’t so sure. At the time, I’d just finished my year-long orthopedic fellowship through the Institute of Advanced Musculoskeletal Treatments (IAMT) with some of the top manual therapists in the country.
All these thoughts and reservations went through my head- I didn’t want to specialize “too soon.” I’d just finished with 4 years of intensive learning and I wanted a “break.” I didn’t want the “emotional strain” I’d heard about when working in this field. I didn’t know exactly what it would involve. And, I was really super-super shy about anything remotely reproductive related and didn’t think I had the courage to talk to people about it.
So, I politely declined for 2 years and continued on with my mostly orthopedic caseload.
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Until, I felt a pull.
Do you ever have those moments where something just keeps re-occurring in your life until, finally, you listen?
It was like that with pelvic health in my career. I decided to listen to what my employers had to say about how my skills might match the field they patiently had in store for me. There are so many times that we have to make decisions for ourselves or our families that we aren’t always sure of, that it felt almost nice to have a professional track with mentorship and guidance presented promisingly.
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So, I decided to shadow a pelvic health therapist and was really amazed at all she knew and what she could help people with that literally no other healthcare provider could. Even midwives and OBGYNs don’t necessarily know the pelvic floor musculature by name or how movement or pregnancy truly affects the pelvis.
The therapist I shadowed did an internal mobilization of a soccer player’s coccyx that had gotten dislocated with a harsh fall. That teenager was unable to walk in the clinic herself without a wheelchair, never mind play her favorite sport, and was able to walk out of the clinic, independently, and pain-free following the 2 minute mobilization.
I was hooked.
As soon as my year long-training commenced, I was able to help people who’d had incontinence for 20+ years. I helped people who had stopped going out to have dinner with friends for fear they’d laugh too hard and leak regain confidence, control, and strength and actually join a supper club.
I was able to help men who’d been catheterized after prostate cancer regain their ability to pee again independently (which is linked to pride).
I was able to help a mother who had sustained a grade 3 tear during delivery of her baby heal postpartum without a trace.
And, just as my employers predicted, I loved it.
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It felt refreshing, rather than daunting, to talk about the things less talked about and topics often ignored for far too long in the medical world. So, I decided to delve into another yearlong program in pelvic health. The pelvis really is such a keystone to the entire body’s musculoskeletal system that it started to seem negligent to ignore approaching any and all patients with this knowledge.
Sure enough, not only did the people I could serve expand, but the rate at which I was able to get anyone with, for example, low back pain better greatly improved. The body is so interlinked and if you, our your healthcare team, ignore the pelvis, that’s like running a race without ever tying your shoes.
What Does a Pelvic Health Physical Therapist Do?
You might wonder what else a pelvic health physical therapist knows or could help you with. Here’s a quick glimpse:
How to help prevent, identify, and treat the three (really four) main kinds of incontinence: stress, urge, frequency and/or a mixture of any of the above.
How to help protect and activate the 4 muscles that make up the deep core so that they all work together with good and almost subconscious coordination to avoid.
How to palpate all the ligaments and the 35 muscles that attach to the sacrum.
How to palpate and check function of all 3 layers of the pelvic floor.
How to assess the pelvic floor for internal trigger points.
How to teach people good bowel, bladder, and sexual function habits.
How to care for the pudendal nerve, the nerve that extends out from the sacrum and is in charge of innervating bowel and bladder structures.
How to make pregnancy, both pre and post partum, a much less fear-based experience.
Gosh, and so much more.
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When it comes to postpartum care, countries like France literally subsidize what they call “perineal re-education”. (There’s a great essay by write Claire Lundberg called “The French Government Wants to Tone my Vagina”) because they know that even if women feel okay after birth, the inhibition of their pelvic health during pregnancy can cause (expensive and timely) issues down the road. So, it’s better for the overall healthcare system to preventatively invest in helping women heal properly postpartum than it is to wait until they are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s when gravity + pelvic floor sleepiness has already taken its toll and it’s much harder to fix.
I would take it a step further when it comes to preventative healthcare, and say that all women should have the opportunity for their body to be assessed for potential risk factors for ANY musculoskeletal condition from an early age…(but, that’s another blog topic).
Improving Pelvic Health During Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a sweet spot in women’s’ healthcare journey. It’s a time where women are often extra motivated to create healthy lifestyle habits and change. It can also feel really empowering to care for yourself while pregnant. All expectant mothers should work on improving their pelvic health during pregnancy.
This is exactly why Train4Birth, the deep core exercises + education+ accountability/support program was born. It’s essentially the equivalent of having a PT (virtually) by your side throughout your entire pregnancy for $188 dollars. That’s a tremendous value –when the average cost of incontinence in the US is approximately $900 per person annually.
Plus, when it comes to resource management: 1) It can be easier to afford pelvic health care before you take (usually un-paid) maternity leave.
2) The cost of Train4Birth, which includes the information usually covered in about four in-person PT sessions, which would be about $600, is 1/3 of that cost.
3) It’s VERY hard to find time for self-care with a newborn. With the ability you start Train4Birth starting at any stage of your pregnancy gives you a jump start.
4) Plus, if you are all “tuned up” and the healthiest version of yourself going into labor, you’re less likely to experience instrument assisted birth or complications you have to deal with down the road.
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There are a lot of premade pregnancy recovery programs out there, but, because all of our bodies are unique and what helps us truly recover will depend on a deep understanding of your individual movement history, your anatomy, and your specific connective tissue I’m a bit leery of any program that doesn’t also include a listening ear.
Regardless of how you decide to care for your body, mind, and soul, I just want to encourage all women that the pelvic floor and deep core is an essential part of our health. To care for your pelvic floor is to care for both your present day and future self.
Author Bio
Dr. Monika Patel is a mom + DPT + fitness pro + environmentalist + lover of all things peanut butter. I love making people’s Birth-Days extra special and have to reign in my tendency to dream about RV life. I love to hear people’s stories. I don’t love to cook. My car usually has crumbs on the bottom of the floor. And I hope to make even just a tiny dent in improving the world.
Feel free to reach out with questions or thoughts at connect@train4birth.com
Endometriosis is a condition that affects 1 in 10 women with a uterus, and even some without one.
Despite how common it is, it often goes undiagnosed and ignored, by both women themselves and medical professionals, for years. That’s why it’s important to recognize the warning signs of endometriosis, document your symptoms and seek the right type of care. Endometriosis can cause chronic, debilitating pain and no one should have to live that way.
Here are some important warning signs of endometriosis to watch out for.
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust. Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.
1. Severe Cramping
Since endometriosis is associated with a woman’s menstrual cycle, severe cramping is one of the most common symptoms. Most women with endometriosis experience symptoms starting with their very first period, so it’s hard to know what is considered normal menstrual cramps if you’ve never had anything but the “severe” ones.
Menstrual cramps are unpleasant no matter what, but here are a few warning signs that it could be endometriosis:
Cramping so bad that extra-strength painkillers don’t take the pain away
Cramps accompanied by nausea, vomiting or dizziness
Cramping pain that radiates from the pelvis to the thighs, lower back and buttocks.
Cramps that begin before your period and last longer than a week.
2. Abnormal Bleeding
Again, hard to know what’s considered normal vs. abnormal, as some women are just prone to heavy periods. But endometriosis isn’t synonymous with just a heavy flow.
Some things to watch out for when it comes to menstrual bleeding with endometriosis:
A heavier than normal menstrual flow
A lighter than normal menstrual flow
Spotting instead of a regular period
Spotting or bleeding in between regular periods
Dark brown blood or spotting (that looks like old blood)
Menstrual blood containing lots of large clots
If blood is not being properly expelled each month, women can experience cases of abnormal bleeding. But any of these can also signal a lot of different conditions, and not just endometriosis. Any menstrual changes should always be documented and discussed with your doctor. Changes to your menstrual cycle are big red flags that something is going on inside your body.
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3. Pelvic Pain
Pelvic pain is one of the first symptoms that might cause a woman to seek help from a medical professional. For women with endometriosis, the pelvic pain might be felt during ovulation, while on their period, or they may experience the pain chronically. Endometriosis is known to be one of the most excruciatingly painful conditions that exists, so debilitating pelvic pain is a big warning sign.
Where and when a woman experiences pelvic pain can be different, as it all depends on where the endometrial tissue is growing. Some women with severe endometriosis don’t experience any pelvic pain, while others might have only a few spots, but feel a lot of pain. The endometrial tissue can also form adhesions, which only cause pain during certain activities like sitting, running, bending over or squatting.
4. Painful Bowel Movements or Urination
The uterus sits very close to other internal organs, including the bladder, bowel, intestines and rectum. This means that there is always a chance of endometrial tissue growing on these organs or forming adhesions around them. If that happens, going to the bathroom can be extremely painful. The pain can range from slight pressure as the bladder increases, to full out screaming pain during a bowel movement. It might feel almost impossible to bear down while eliminating, so avoiding constipation is key. On the other hand, some women experience diarrhea or loose stools during their period, but it’s still just as painful to go.
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5. Painful Intercourse
If the mere idea of intercourse makes you cringe in pain, it could be a warning sign of endometriosis. Endometriosis can cause pain during intercourse, even when a women is not currently on her period or experiencing any pain. This is mostly due to any adhesions that may have formed. During intercourse, we use our pelvic floor muscles to relax and contract. But if they are compromised by endometrial tissue or adhesions, this can be extremely painful to do.
Orgasms can also cause a lot of pain in women with endometriosis, which is a sad fact, since they should be able to enjoy them as much as anyone else. But again, the contracting of those pelvic floor muscles can be restricted and cause pain, both in the moment, as well as long afterwards.
6. Lower Back, Leg or Hip Pain
Endometriosis is regularly associated with pelvic pain, but it commonly causes pain in the lower back, stomach, legs or hips as well. Endometrial tissue and adhesions can grow practically anywhere, even as far up as the diaphragm and lungs. But endometrial tissue growing on the pelvic organs can affect the function of our pelvic floor muscles, abdominal muscles and hip flexors. These muscles control our lower back, stomach, hip and leg movements, essentially they are our “core” muscles. If you’re in pain simply from trying to move around like a normal person, it could signal something such as endometriosis.
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7. Inflammation
Endometriosis and inflammation go hand in hand. The lining of the uterus essentially becomes inflamed each month, and the inflammation recedes once that lining is shed. Therefore, the pain of endometriosis is caused by inflammation from the endometrial tissue growing outside the uterus that is unable to be shed.
With endometriosis, women may experience inflammation in other parts of their body as well. This can include pain or swelling in their hands, feet or joints. Many women also develop symptoms of other inflammatory autoimmune disorders such as chronic fatigue syndrome, thyroid problems, rheumatoid arthritis, vitiligo, lupus and more.
8. Excessive Bloating
“Endo belly“ as it’s lovingly called, is a major warning sign of endometriosis. It refers to the excessive bloating that many women with endometriosis experience during a flare up. If we go back to the last point, this bloating is partly due to the inflammation of the endometrial tissue outside the uterus, and the restriction on the digestive system caused by adhesions. While bloating is common for many women during their periods, endo belly can make a women look 6 months pregnant in a matter of just a few hours.
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9. Infertility
Yes, infertility is often associated with endometriosis, and it’s perhaps the most common reason woman actually get a proper diagnosis. But endometriosis doesn’t always cause infertility, so just because you’ve been able to have children doesn’t instantly mean you don’t have it. In fact, I personally didn’t start to experience symptoms of endometriosis myself until after the birth of my second child, and I was still able to conceive a third child without any intervention. It all depends on where the endometrial tissue is growing and which organs are affected. But if you are suffering from infertility, endometriosis could definitely be the culprit.
10. Fatigue
Of all the warning signs of endometriosis, I saved this one for last because it seems to have the least impact. What I mean by that is – who ISN’T tired? Endometriosis, like many inflammatory diseases, causes severe fatigue. And not just during flare ups, but all the time. It’s exhausting fighting pain and inflammation on a regular basis. If you’re experiencing extreme bouts of fatigue in conjunction with any of these other symptoms, you could be suffering from endometriosis.
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+ Bonus Warning Sign
Another huge red flag that it might be endometriosis is if you’re experiencing excruciating pelvic pain and yet nothing shows up on any diagnostic imaging test. As a personal testament, I can’t count how many times I’ve gone to the ER in an amount of pain way beyond my tolerance level (and I gave birth three times without drugs) only to be told they didn’t find anything wrong with me. It is extremely frustrating and almost dehumanizing.
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Suspect you have endometriosis?
The unfortunate news for women who experience these warning signs of endometriosis is that the only way to get a definite diagnosis is via laparoscopy. I lost my uterus to stage IV endometriosis and yet nothing showed up on an ultrasound, CT Scan or MRI even as recent as a month prior to my surgery. Many women will undergo a hysterectomy in an attempt to treat the endometriosis, but it’s not always the best course of treatment as endometrial tissue can continue to grow, even without a uterus.
Instead, a technique called excision is the preferred method for treating endometriosis, however only a handful of surgeons currently perform it successfully around the world. It’s a meticulous surgery that requires the cutting away of endometrial tissue and patients often require more than one surgery to get it all. Sometimes a hysterectomy needs to be performed in addition to excision of endometrial tissue, depending on how widespread the disease is.
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Since the month of March is known as Endometriosis Awareness Month, it’s especially important to take some time to raise awareness and education about this excruciating condition. Sadly, the women with this condition will be faced with having to fight for proper medical treatment and will likely be turned away from help several times before finding it. It is an issue that is near and dear to my heart and my hope is to save as many women from having to go through the same traumatic ordeal that I did.
The month of March is Endometriosis Awareness Month.
I am one of the millions of women in the world who has endometriosis. A year and a half ago, I had a hysterectomy. I wasn’t given much of a choice in the matter due to the fact that I had stage 4 endometriosis as well as adenomyosis of the uterus. Aside from one ovary, all of my reproductive organs were removed via an open abdominal incision. The endometrial tissue that was growing on the inside of my pelvis, intestines, bladder and bowel was scraped and burned off with the hopes of it never returning.
Following the hysterectomy, I was finally able to experience freedom from the pain of endometriosis that had plagued me for years.
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust. Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.
The recovery period following my hysterectomy was one of the toughest struggles I have ever experienced. The surgery was invasive and there were complications. Worst of all, neither my doctor nor I predicted that the outcome would be nearly as bad as it was. We were blindsided with a “worst case scenario.” Being unprepared for a hysterectomy made the recovery difficult, both physically and emotionally.
In The Hospital
48 Hours
I gripped my morphine drip with an iron fist. I don’t remember much in those first 48 hours, aside from getting the bad news. Since I did not go into the hospital on that Friday morning expecting to come out of it with a hysterectomy and a 5 day hospital stay, I was not in the least bit prepared. I hadn’t packed a change of clothes, a toothbrush or a phone charger. Even though my husband did his best to bring me what I needed, the loss of control made me feel anxious and on edge the entire time.
Day 3
I had lost a lot of blood during the surgery, but I wasn’t given a transfusion until three days later. Perhaps it was because they wanted to see if I would recover without one, which I didn’t. I was weak, dizzy and my breathing was even faint due to a lack of oxygen in my blood. At night, I would wake up gasping for air. After the blood transfusion I began to feel a lot better.
They finally removed the catheter but peeing was next to impossible. A tiny trickle came out at best. Getting out of bed to go the bathroom and back again took every ounce of strength I had. By that evening, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t make it to the bathroom or pee at all and the nurses had to use a straight catheter to empty my bladder. Two straight catheters later, they decided to put the Foley catheter back in for the night.
Day 4
I was supposed to go home. I was somewhat mobile, able to pee on my own, made a bowel movement, had been off of morphine for 24 hours and even managed to take a shower. They replaced the morphine with T3’s for pain management instead. But later that afternoon, I began to feel dizzy, weak, nauseated and had shortness of breath in addition to a drop in blood pressure. Turns out I had a reaction to the codeine in the T3’s. I stayed an extra night to be on the safe side.
Day 5
I finally got discharged from the hospital five days after my sudden hysterectomy. It was a two hour drive home and my husband and sister had padded the seat in our vehicle with pillows and blankets so that I would be as comfortable as possible. The nurses gave me a dose of painkillers right before wheeling me out and buckling me in. I vaguely remember the drive but it felt good to be home.
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The First Two Weeks
Movement
At the hospital I was given Heparin shots regularly, but now I was supposed to get up out of bed and walk around as much as possible to avoid getting a blood clot. Since we live in a split-level house I was mostly contained to the upper level, so I did laps around my bed and in the hallway.
Pillows
The only way I was truly comfortable was with a pillow under my head, one under each of my arms, and one across my stomach which I had to apply pressure to anytime I tried to use my abdominal muscles (which is so much more than you realize).
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Constipation
They give you a few stool softeners in the hospital but you’ll need them for far longer. Since my bowel, bladder and intestines had all been “scraped” of endometrial tissue and adhesions, they too, were swollen and trying to heal. Going to bathroom was something I dreaded having to do.
Stairs
Going up and down stairs was a task that I didn’t even tackle until the second week. You really don’t realize how painful it can be on your incision to take a step up or down. It pulls on the stitches and stretches everything from the inside. One step at a time, with slow movements and regular breaks was the only way to manage them.
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Six Weeks Later
My grandmother had come to stay with us during my recovery period and she was an absolute blessing. She took care of the kids, cooked, cleaned and delivered my favorite foods and tea to my bedside on a regular basis. She, too, had a hysterectomy in her 30’s and so she knew the pain I was in and refused to let me lift a single finger.
So when the six week mark hit, I expected all this hysterectomy business to be behind me. But I was still in pain. It hurt to bend over, and even just to stand for any length of time. It still hurt to go to the bathroom and I was exhausted all day long even though I wasn’t doing anything. I was apparently well enough to drive but moving my foot from the gas pedal to the brake caused pain by my incision.
By this time, my grandmother returned home and it was just me and the kids, resuming our normal, everyday activities. My husband hated to see me in pain and was anxious for me to recover. He asked me every single day if I was doing better. I wasn’t. I was struggling so hard to get back into things. But I told him “yes” so that he wouldn’t worry. It took at least eight weeks before the pain finally ceased. It still hurt to lift or bend, but for the majority of the day, I didn’t think about it.
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The Next Year
The Absence of Blood
If there is one major benefit to a hysterectomy for a woman in her 30’s, it’s the end of periods for good. Prior to my hysterectomy, I bled for 6 weeks straight. I started to get a rash from having to wear pads and tampons continuously for so long. But in the last year since, I haven’t had to think about a single drop of blood.
Believe it or not, it was something that I needed to get used to. For 20 years, I’ve had to worry about waking up to blood stained sheets or dealing with bloody messes all over the bathroom. I still find myself checking the toilet paper after I wipe for traces of blood, but there’s never any there.
Ovulation
Yes, my lonely solo ovary still ovulated. At least, I believe that it did, but I no longer had a cervix or menstrual cycle to help me determine for sure. Further research confirmed that symptoms of ovulation post hysterectomy were:
Since that one ovary was still ovulating and producing estrogen, these symptoms did not stop post hysterectomy. But a sole ovary will only be able to hold down the fort for so long, so I have had to accept the fact that menopause will come to me sooner rather than later.
Birth Control
Many women express a decrease in their sex life following a hysterectomy. But not having to worry about getting pregnant actually made it all the more enticing for me. Even though I was still ovulating, I didn’t need to track my cycle or worry about what form of birth control to use. Although it took some time to accept the fact that I would never have another baby, part of me was relieved to never have to worry about any of the baby-making parts again.
Freedom
A hysterectomy did provide me with a sense of freedom from endometriosis. For the first time, in a very long time, I enjoyed a summer with my family and was able to do all the things that I never could before. I could go camping or to the beach and not have to worry about changing a tampon in the middle of the woods. I had energy and was no longer in an obscene amount of pain so I could keep up with my kids for a change. I danced and swam and ran around and hiked and rode a bike. I was able to live my life, without pads or pills or a heat pack.
Among all my newfound freedom, however, there was a looming sense of emptiness. The lack of periods was a constant reminder of my traumatic experience. I hadn’t quite come to terms with the loss of my uterus yet. The more I thought about it, the more I felt empty, infertile and dried up. I would hear or see other women complain about having cramps and asking for a tampon and while I was glad those days were behind me, I also felt like less of a woman.
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18 Month Update
A little over a month ago, I suddenly experienced a sharp pelvic pain. I followed up with a doctor who said it was likely caused by a small hernia along my incision and ordered me to rest for a few weeks. He also warned me that it could be caused by scar tissue and/or adhesions. If the pain persisted I was to come back for further tests.
Obviously, as a mother of three, trying to get enough rest was near impossible. I did my best to not bend, lift or strain myself but the pain was persistent. Within two weeks, it had spread across my entire pelvis and lower back… and it was all too familiar.
So now, 18 months post hysterectomy, I wait for more doctor’s appointments to find out if the endometriosis has returned.
Overall, my quality of life has improved since having the hysterectomy. At the time, it was traumatic and difficult to deal with. But even with the possibility of the endometriosis returning, I have no regrets. The hysterectomy gave me a chance at freedom, even if it was short lived.
Endometriosis is a condition that plagues nearly 10% of women but is often misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all.
Like postpartum depression, endometriosis is something that isn’t talked about enough. It causes a considerable amount of pain but so many women learn to live with it and don’t seek the proper treatment. And those who do seek help, are often told it’s nothing, because endometriosis doesn’t show up on ultrasounds or x-rays or ct scans.
While there is no link between endometriosis and postpartum depression, they do have a lot in common:
They are affected by hormones
They affect women in their childbearing years
They are under-diagnosed conditions
They are invisible diseases
They are stigmatized and need more awareness
Every women’s struggle with endometriosis is different, just like postpartum depression. Here is MY story…
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust. **Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.
It was a mere coincidence that both my endometriosis and postpartum depression were diagnosed at the same time, because the two conditions are not exactly linked to each other. But ever since that diagnosis, they have been intertwined throughout my journey of highs and lows.
It all began when my daughter was 5 months old. Actually, the postpartum depression symptoms had been going on for a few months already but I was still in denial.
We took a family trip to Disney World (both kids were still free to get in, so we thought we’d take advantage)! Despite exclusively breastfeeding, I got my first postpartum period – right there in the Magic Kingdom.
I was disappointed and annoyed but what else could I do, on this trip of a lifetime, but suck it up and waddle around in blood-soaked pants for the rest of the day?
The next day, we planned to go to Cocoa Beach. When you’re from the Canadian Prairies, trips to the ocean are few and far between, so I was definitely NOT missing out on it. I bought the biggest box of tampons I could find and tried my best to enjoy the day.
But the cramping was worse than labor pains and the bleeding was relentless.
I made it through that vacation but the following month was even worse. I probably wouldn’t have said anything to my doctor, except that it happened to fall on the same day as my daughter’s 6 month checkup.
I was lucky enough to have a great doctor with whom I already had a close relationship, and it was in that appointment that I broke down crying – overcome by the pain of the menstrual cramps and the dark place my mind had been in for the last 6 months.
Based solely on my symptoms, he figured it was endometriosis that was causing the pain and heavy bleeding. It was the first time I had ever heard the word. When he told me that it can cause infertility, I actually felt relieved because I had zero desire to have another baby. He gave me some samples of birth control pills and advised me to take them continuously in an effort to “skip” my periods.
Then we discussed the postpartum depression and came up with a treatment plan.
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I was supposed to follow up with him in a few months to see how things were going. But by then, we had relocated for my husband’s job – a 9 hour drive away.
For a while, things were alright…
My mind was distracted by the move and I remembered to take my birth control pills everyday, avoiding the painful cramping that accompanied my periods.
Until I ran out of samples.
Trying to find a good doctor in a new town where I didn’t know anyone was tougher than I thought. So I chose to suffer instead. I loaded up on painkillers and wore adult diapers to soak up the extreme amounts of blood and just dealt with it.
With each month that passed, the pain got worse and worse. The cramping started earlier and lasted longer until I was only pain-free for one week each month. I turned to essential oils for help with the pain, but even their magic wasn’t strong enough.
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The chronic pelvic pain exacerbated my postpartum depression symptoms.
I felt defeated by the pain. I didn’t feel like being strong or fighting through the pain – I hoped and prayed it would just kill me. I thought about how my daughter might someday experience this kind of pain, and I felt responsible for that. I felt like all I did was inflict pain on those around me, because I was also in pain. And I was certain that everyone would be happier, myself included, if I was just gone.
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When my year of maternity leave was over, things got better.
I found a job that I loved and began to make friends. The daycare we chose for the kids was wonderful and they settled into it without any problems. I appreciated my children more because I cherished the short amount of time we had together each day instead of dreading the long hours of nothingness.
Finally, I was happy! I pushed through the endometriosis pain every month because I didn’t want anything to destroy my happiness.
But after a year of being happy and ignoring the pain – the pain pushed back.
I couldn’t ignore it anymore and eventually wound up in the emergency room. Much to everyone’s surprise – I was pregnant!I guess endometriosis doesn’t always cause infertility…
The anxiety began almost immediately. I didn’t want to go through another HG pregnancy and I definitely worried about dealing with the postpartum depression all over again. Plus we had just moved again, and hadn’t even bought a house yet.
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Despite the exciting news, the pain was still there… worse even.
The doctors suspected a possible ectopic pregnancy and rushed me into emergency surgery.
When I woke up, I had mixed feelings about losing the baby. Part of me was relieved to avoid another tough pregnancy, but another part of me felt disappointed that I didn’t get another chance to make things right.
The next day, I found out I was still pregnant. The pregnancy was a healthy one, and there was nothing they could tell me about the endometriosis because they didn’t want to do anything to disturb the pregnancy.
And so I had my third child. I suffered from the worst case of hyperemesis gravidarum of all three pregnancies, but for a while, I didn’t have to worry about the menstrual pain. This time I did everything in my power to prepare myself for postpartum depression again but thankfully was spared from it. I was given a second chance! I immediately felt a bond with this baby and she made our family complete.
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I had a good, solid 8 months of bliss with my happy baby before my first postpartum period arrived.
And, in true dream-crushing fashion, it came back on Christmas Eve so I spent most of that night hopped up on painkillers and hovering around the bathroom door in order to change my tampon every 30 minutes.
After another steady 8 months of pill popping, I missed another period.Oh no, not another pregnancy. It can’t be. I can’t do it again. But the tests were all negative…
My menstrual cycle finally had a nervous breakdown.
It would skip months for no reason and then come every other week. The pelvic pain got worse and it was no longer limited to my menstrual cycle – it was there 24/7. I ended up in the emergency room regularly looking for something to help with the pain. Nothing ever showed up on any of the tests, and I’m certain everyone thought I was a hypochondriac. Even though I was in an intense amount of pain, I started to wonder if they were right.
The pain triggered the postpartum depression again.
It didn’t help that I was now a stay-at-home-mom, living in a city with no friends or relatives to help me out. Between the darkness of postpartum depression and the pain of endometriosis, life was very bleak for nearly a full year.
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I finally met with a specialist.
He instantly validated everything I was feeling and scheduled me for a diagnostic laparoscopy to find out what was going on inside of me. Since he wasn’t sure what he would find, he asked me to sign a form that stated he could perform a hysterectomy if he deemed it medically necessary. This way, I wouldn’t have to undergo two separate surgeries if I did need one.
We discussed the fact that a hysterectomy would be the worst-case scenario, and I signed the form without hesitation.
In the 6 weeks leading up to my surgery date, I bled continuously. I should have known then, that more was wrong under the surface than I wanted to admit. If I had, perhaps I would have been more prepared for what was ahead.
The surgery was supposed to be a laparoscopic day surgery on a Friday. My husband, kids and I made the 2 hour drive into the city, expecting to stay with family for the weekend and be back home by Monday.
But when I woke up from the surgery, I was told I would not be going home that day.
My doctor came in to see me, head hung, disappointment in his eyes. He rested his hand on mine and told me that this was the first time he’s ever had to convert from a laparoscopic surgery to an abdominal incision (minimally invasive surgery was his specialty).
And then he filled me in on what happened in surgery.
He had to remove my uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes, and left ovary. He left the right ovary so that I would not go into menopause but everything else was stuck together with adhesions and needed to go. My reproductive organs were attached to the pelvic wall, bladder and bowels which he successfully separated, but there would be scar tissue remaining. The adhesions had re-routed my blood vessels and so he cut into one while attempting to perform the hysterectomy, causing me to lose nearly 4 units of blood and require a transfusion.
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It was the “worst case scenario,” and I felt completely blindsided by what had just happened.
I ended up staying in the hospital for 5 days. Losing so much blood left me feeling weak and dizzy and moving around was almost impossible. Once I did get home to my own bed, I couldn’t leave. Walking up and down stairs was difficult and living in a 4 level split meant I was practically bedridden. Long after the scar healed, the pain inside my pelvis was excruciating. I was told to expect to be out of commission for a full 6 weeks but it took more like 8.
Dealing with the sudden loss of my uterus was difficult. Although I knew I didn’t want to have more children, I liked knowing that it was an option. I spent a lot of time thinking about my pregnancies and how the place where I grew my children and felt them move and kick was no longer there.
But once I recovered from the surgery, the constant pelvic pain that plagued me for years was finally gone. It was hard to believe that it was no longer there, I kept poking at it to see if it hurt but no – no more pain! And I never had to wear another giant tampon or adult diaper ever again.
Most days I forget that I no longer have a uterus. I still get some symptoms of PMS when my lonely ovary ovulates but it’s nearly impossible to track it without a menstrual cycle. The fluctuating hormones do still affect my postpartum depression symptoms and I have to take extra care of myself on those days, but otherwise, it’s no longer triggered by constant pain.
So while my battle with endometriosis, as well as my battle with postpartum depression, is over for now – they have changed who I am as a person.
They have both taken things away from me that I can never get back. They have killed a part of me inside and remain there, dormant, waiting for another opportunity to strike. I will do my best to take care of myself, to help others who are suffering, and to raise awareness about these two important issues, so that if and when they ever do decide to rear their ugly heads again – I will be ready to fight back.
Many women with endometriosis are infertile, but for those who can have kids, it can be an entirely different kind of hell.
I recently came across a post from Coins & Babble about a day in the life of a chronically ill mom. Like myself, T suffers from endometriosis. Reading about her daily struggles made me realize that my case was not a unique one. It’s one that too many mothers experience.
Without hesitation, I asked T to write a guest post for Running in Triangles about being a mother with endometriosis.
* This post may contain affiliate links * This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author and not necessarily those of www.runningintriangles.com. Due to the nature of the topic, this post may contain graphic details that some may find disturbing.
The Tormented Life Of A Mother Suffering With Endometriosis
A guest post by Tifanee from Coins & Babble
Endometriosis. It may not be a word you’ve heard before. But I know you’ve heard the word mother. Take a walk in my shoes.
CoinsandBabble.com
Endometriosis Reality
Endometriosis is a chronic condition where endometrial-like tissue is found outside of the uterus.
What happens to a woman with Endometriosis is SO much more than that though. It feels like you have hundreds, sometimes thousands of blisters on your insides. Imagine that. Think for a minute of the pain you have when you have an open blister while wearing your heels but you still have to walk in them. Now, imagine walking with those blisters covering your insides. It’s excruciating pain every minute of every day. Endometriosis causes extreme fatigue and usually a low immune system. Most of the time in the bodies of women with Endometriosis, their organs are eventually completely stuck to each other.
When you get your period, plan to take the next two weeks of life off. For the most part, you’re bed-ridden. I would like to take this opportunity to say, I have a high pain tolerance. I went through 27.5 hours of labor drug-free. The pain I experience with Endometriosis still causes me to be bed-ridden. Don’t think the women diagnosed with this horrendous illness are wimps, they’re probably some of the toughest ladies you’ll ever know. The pain is so bad, your willing to burn your skin with a rice bag just to distract from the pain inside.
Among the many symptoms of Endometriosis, one of the most talked about is infertility. I truly feel pain in my heart for those women who aren’t and haven’t been able to have children because of Endometriosis.
But today, we’re going to talk about the women who WERE able to have children…
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Being A Mom With Endometriosis
Two-thirds of the women who are diagnosed with endometriosis will be able to have children at some point in their lives. For me, that was early in my life. If I’d have waited to have children I wouldn’t have been able to grow them myself.
While I would never change my three beautiful babies, being a mom to them while struggling with Endometriosis is the hardest part of my life. I feel a ridiculous amount of mom guilt to start. In one of my previous articles on Endometriosis, I talked about the fact that I have less energy than someone going through treatment for cancer. One of the hardest parts of my life has been not being able to get out of bed to be with my kids.
As a mom, especially when your kids are little, your sole purpose in life is them. Not because it HAS to be, because you want it to be. But for me, Endometriosis has made that impossible. It has ripped away moments and delights with them that I can never get back. That I will never have a chance at again. This breaks my heart inside. It makes me sick to my stomach and furious.
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My youngest daughter is almost five and most of our days together are spent in bed. When we play games, they are usually from my bed. She brings connect four to my bed and we set it up on the box for a steadier surface and play. It’s wrong and unfair, not only for her, for me as well.
My children go through the stress of this unimaginable illness with me. They’ve had to watch me deteriorate and suffer knowing that nothing can be done. It’s almost enough to completely break me when I think of that. But, of course, I’m a mom and I won’t let anything break me. I will struggle and suffer through torment with a beaming smile on my face to participate in field trips. I will hide the bags and tear stained face with my professional makeup so I can watch them in swimming lessons. I will build a snowman outside while I’m in agony inside.
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Is This It?
For a mom with Endometriosis, there is no staying in bed all week during a bad week. There is no catching up on the housework later or skipping dinner. You get up and show up no matter what. Until you face the unimaginable reality, that you just can’t. You don’t know what you’ll do, but you know you can’t do this anymore. If you have to live through this anguish for one more minute you will plunge into your despair and let it take over.
You go for tests and you try hormone treatments. You finally decide your body will never again be the remarkable body it used to be. It will no longer be a body that can support the life of another. To be able to keep any type of life you have now, you need to get rid of the organs that held and grew your precious children for the first part of their life.
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At first, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. Plenty of women get hysterectomies. It’s not talked about a lot, but it’s absolute misery for me. Knowing that soon, my body won’t be the body I have had my whole life. I will never be able to have a precious sweet baby inside my womb. My pelvis will be dark and empty and filled with the monster Endometriosis.
This is my tormented life of a mother suffering with endometriosis.
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