This is Why There’s No Shame in Sleep Training

Sleep training can have a bad reputation among the parenting community.

This secret shame in sleep training comes from it’s association with the cry it out method.  The name alone suggests something very traumatic for both moms and babies alike.  But it’s important to note that the cry it out method is not nearly the only form of sleep training.  In fact, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of different ways that parents sleep train their babies.

So I’d like to make it loud and clear for all moms everywhere that there is absolutely no shame in sleep training your baby!
This is Why There's No Shame in Sleep Training
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust. Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.
This is why there's no shame in sleep training This is why there's no shame in sleep training

Defining Sleep Training

There is no shame in sleep training because all parents do it, whether they realize it or not.   To “sleep train” is to help a baby establish healthy sleep habits.  But there are so many different ways that can be done, it all depends on the baby and the parent.  Some parents choose to do this using more rigid guidelines, while others prefer to let their babies take the lead.  Either way, it’s still considered sleep training. 

#sleeptraining
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Baby-Led Sleep Training

Babies are born with the natural instinct to sleep, eat and eliminate.  Their wakeful periods gradually increase with age and as they grow, their little personalities begin to show.  These personalities will give you a hint as to what kind of sleep they prefer. 

For Example:

    • My introverted first child was a great sleeper and still is, 10 years later.  He likes quiet, darkness and solitude.  He never slept well in a shared bedroom and was easily distracted by lights, sounds and toys in his room. 
    • My anxious second child has always suffered from sleep disruptions and needs quite a bit of intervention in order to fall sleep, including the use of night lights and white noise. 
    • My easy-going third child can sleep anywhere without problem, as long as she has her special bunny. 

Baby led sleep training methods mean following your baby’s sleep cues and letting them show you how and when they prefer to sleep.  This can require a lot of patience and may mean more night-time waking, but many parents are up for that challenge.  You can also expect a baby-led routine to change several times as they grow and develop different needs. 

8 Creative Ways to Deal With Bedtime Excuses
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Parent-Led Sleep Training

Sleep training methods that have more structure and routine are considered parent-led methods.  Many are based on adjusting baby’s instinctual sleep habits in order to make it work for a parent’s lifestyle.  And these are the ones that moms often feel shamed for, or feel the need to shame others.

Sleep training is not selfish. 

Most parents choose to do it because that’s what works for their family.  Mothers suffering from postpartum depression or anxiety in particular may need that added structure.  Sleep deprivation can be a big trigger for mental health issues and therefore, a routinely sleeping baby is a necessity.  Sleep training a new baby can also help avoid sleep disruption for other children in the home.

Sleep training isn’t cruel, either. 

(At least, it shouldn’t be if done correctly.)  While I am not a sleep training expert, I do firmly believe that leaving a baby to cry alone by themselves does not teach them how to sleep or self-soothe.  Crying is a baby’s way of communicating and we should never take that for granted.  But sometimes, a baby cries because they feel overstimulated or overtired and need some space, so holding or rocking them is not always the solution.

Parent-led sleep training methods can require a lot of consistency and a certain level of self-discipline.  Creating a strict bedtime routine for a baby means committing to doing it for years to come, but some parents are willing to make that sacrifice in exchange for a better night’s sleep.

How to Start Sleep Training The Moment You Bring Baby Home
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Stick with One or The Other

A mistake most parents make is beginning with a baby led sleep approach and then trying to switch to parent led sleep training when the child is older.  Of course there will be tears and baby will put up a fight, because change can be difficult for everyone.  So if you plan on letting baby take the lead right from the start, then expect to follow through on that.  Or you can start incorporating a more structured bedtime routine as a gradual process. 

If you do plan on sleep training your baby, then try to start from the moment you bring your baby home.  Obviously, your newborn isn’t going to start sleeping straight through the night, but remember, that’s not what sleep training is about.  There are several things you can do to ensure they develop a good routine and sleeping habits.  This way, you don’t need to worry about making drastic changes to their routine as they grow.  

There is No Shame in Needing Help

If your baby isn’t sleeping no matter what you’ve tried, that doesn’t make you a failure.  When it comes to sleep training, there is a lot of advice out there but there is no manual or one tried and true method.  

Thankfully, there are professional baby sleep training consultants available.  I have personally used and would recommend the Baby Sleep Site (read about my personal experience with them here).  Trained professionals take into account your family life, other children’s schedules and your own health and well being to create a routine that works for you.  They’ve dealt with the various sleep habits of thousands of different babies and have the experience to help you.  Sleep training can be stressful, so it’s good to have some support and guidance along the way. 

Since May is Maternal Mental Health Month, use the code MOMS20 to get $10 off one The Baby Sleep Site’s VIP Membership Packages
6 Ways to Make Sleep Training a Positive Experience
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Quit the Shaming!

Motherhood is not black and white and when it comes to sleep training, there is a lot of grey area.  Ultimately, what works for one family, or one baby, will not work for everyone.  So let’s quit with the mom shaming about sleep training.  Moms who sleep train are not being cruel or selfish.  And moms who follow their baby’s lead are not spoiling them.  All moms are doing what they feel is best for their baby, themselves and their families and that’s the only thing that truly matters.


This is How The Baby Sleep Site Can Save Your Sanity

Sleep training is one of those tough parts of parenthood.  You either get it right or you struggle with sleep deprivation for many, many years.

Years ago, when I started researching sleep training for my first baby, there was so much conflicting information.  I had no idea which method would work and so I resorted to good, old “trial and error.”  Thankfully he was a pretty easy going kid who took to it wonderfully, unlike my second child.  In an effort to avoid the stress of sleep training, I’ve started looking into sleep training consultants for advice with my third baby.

One site that offers these types of services is The Baby Sleep Site.
The Baby Sleep Site Review
* This is a sponsored post for which I received compensation. As always, the opinions in this post are my own. This post may contain affiliate links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products I love from companies I trust.

Sleep Training: Where to Start

Get a Personalized Sleep Plan


Sleep consultation sites like The Baby Sleep Site usually offer wide varieties of different options based on your sleep training needs, which can get really overwhelming (especially when you’re a sleep deprived parent who has no idea where to begin).  And the last thing any parent wants to do is shell out money for a service that they’re not convinced is not going to be worth it.

I was drawn to The Baby Sleep Site because they offer something unique…  

The Baby Sleep Site Members Area
The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | Membership

Yes, it costs money.  But for as little as $12/month – you have a valuable source of resources and information available at your fingertips.  The Members Area comes loaded with e-books, articles, quizzes, downloadable worksheets and even a chat room.

The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | Members Area | Tele-seminars

One of my favorite features is the tele-seminars.  They’re about half an hour long so you can listen to one while you’re cooking dinner or folding a load of laundry – perfect for busy moms who don’t have time to read through tons of articles!

Another great feature as a member is the custom schedule maker – which you can use as often as you need to as your baby grows.

The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | Members Area | Custom Schedule

The Members Area is a great tool for a parent who is just beginning to struggle with sleep training and needs some guidance on where to start.


But what if you need even more help? 

What if you’ve read all the e-books and changed around your baby’s schedule 15 times just to try to make it work but they’re still not sleeping through the night?

It goes without saying that all babies are different, and some are definitely harder to figure out than others.  That’s where the sleep experts come in.  They’ve dealt with babies of all different temperaments and preferences before.  Even a mother of three has only ever had to handle sleep training three kids – but sleep experts have handled sleep training thousands of them.

If you feel lost and overwhelmed when it comes to sleep training, then you can purchase one of The Baby Sleep Site’s consultation packages.

They offer both phone and e-mail consultation, depending on which you prefer.  E-mail is a great option for busy moms but sometimes it really helps to speak to someone one-on-one. (They also offer an express sleep plan if you’re desperate for a good night’s sleep.)

The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | Services

The best part is, as a Member, you get a 20% discount towards the consultation package of your choice!


The Baby Sleep Site’s most popular package is the Deluxe E-mail Consulting Package.

You can get more info about the other package options here but the difference is basically how many follow up e-mails you get (i.e. how much “time” you want to purchase.)

The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | E-Mail Consulting Options

Beginning the consultation process is very simple but I would recommend setting aside enough time, free of distractions to complete the sleep history.  It might also help to write down any notes about your child’s specific areas that you want to work on, what their schedule is like, and how they’ve responded to sleep training in the past.

Once you have an idea of what you need work on, you submit a sleep history assessment via the Help Desk.  The questions are pretty straightforward and there are several places to elaborate further on what is happening specifically with your child.

It took me approximately 15 minutes to complete the assessment.

The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | Personalized Sleep Plan Assessment

Prior to submitting your sleep history, there is an estimated chart of how long it will take to receive a response. 

The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | Sleep Plan Turnaround Time

I submitted my sleep history on a Friday after 5 PM EST and received my personalized sleep plan on Monday morning!


The Personalized Sleep Plan

As a “researcher” myself, I didn’t have extremely high hopes for the personalized sleep plan.  I felt as though I had read enough books and blogs, all of which had the same info, that there wouldn’t be much in the personalized sleep plan that I didn’t already know.  (In the sleep history assessment, you have the option to select the level of detail you would like.  I, of course, selected the highest level.)

I will admit that, upon receiving my personalized sleep plan, it exceeded my expectations.  The key reason being – it’s personalized!  I didn’t appreciate exactly what that meant until I received the sleep plan back from Nicole Johnson and her team of experts.

Let me highlight my favorite parts so that you can see what I mean:
    • Specific needs for my child based on the information I included in the assessment.  For example, how much she should be sleeping or eating or napping based not just on her age but also on her temperament and history.
    • Daytime and nighttime routines based on her sleeping arrangements since my toddler and five year old currently share a bedroom.
    • A personalized mantra about my specific sleep training goals that I can repeat to myself on those rough, sleepless nights.
    • The day to day plan with precise steps to take each day, including how and what to prepare for before beginning the plan. (See image below)
The Baby Sleep Site Review
The Baby Sleep Site | Personalized Sleep Plan

All of these different things stood out to me in the personalized sleep plan.  When I was doing my own research on sleep training, then it was up to me to create a plan based on what I learned and I truly had no idea if it was going to work for my child or not.  Upon reading this personalized sleep plan, I found myself pretty confident that I could easily incorporate these changes, and more importantly, that my daughter would be comfortable with them.

The personalized sleep plan included actionable steps for me to take to correct my child’s sleeping problems, based on a number of different factors that I hadn’t even considered.  

I still have my three follow up e-mails to use, which are good for 6 months.  So as I incorporate these recommended changes to her schedule and bedtime routine, I will have help waiting if I encounter any problems.

Knowing that I have an expert in my corner has absolutely saved my sanity!  I regret that I didn’t choose a sleep training expert when my second child was younger and I was battling such extreme postpartum depression.  Perhaps it could have reduced the amount of stress and sleep deprivation I was experiencing then.  But now, as a busy mother of three, sleep training is no longer an issue I need to stress about, thanks to The Baby Sleep Site.


How much would you pay for a good night’s sleep?

The largest obstacle I would see to most parents hiring a sleep consultant would likely be the cost associated.  For this, it all comes down to priorities and how important the sleep is to you.  In my case, sleep deprivation is a big trigger of postpartum depression relapses, and so I can’t afford to lose that war.

It’s important to keep in mind that what you are paying for is the time and service of a professional.  I’m pretty sure I’ve paid the guy who fertilizes my lawn in the summer more money and that hasn’t gotten me very far in life.

So when I take all these things into consideration, the cost of a professional sleep consultant is worth it, in my opinion.

[View packages and prices from The Baby Sleep Site HERE]


For More Information:

Visit The Baby Sleep Site website to learn more about what they have to offer.  If you’re interested in becoming a member, you can join here!