This is Why There’s No Shame in Sleep Training

Sleep training can have a bad reputation among the parenting community.

This secret shame in sleep training comes from it’s association with the cry it out method.  The name alone suggests something very traumatic for both moms and babies alike.  But it’s important to note that the cry it out method is not nearly the only form of sleep training.  In fact, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of different ways that parents sleep train their babies.

So I’d like to make it loud and clear for all moms everywhere that there is absolutely no shame in sleep training your baby!
This is Why There's No Shame in Sleep Training
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust. Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.
This is why there's no shame in sleep training This is why there's no shame in sleep training

Defining Sleep Training

There is no shame in sleep training because all parents do it, whether they realize it or not.   To “sleep train” is to help a baby establish healthy sleep habits.  But there are so many different ways that can be done, it all depends on the baby and the parent.  Some parents choose to do this using more rigid guidelines, while others prefer to let their babies take the lead.  Either way, it’s still considered sleep training. 

#sleeptraining
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Baby-Led Sleep Training

Babies are born with the natural instinct to sleep, eat and eliminate.  Their wakeful periods gradually increase with age and as they grow, their little personalities begin to show.  These personalities will give you a hint as to what kind of sleep they prefer. 

For Example:

    • My introverted first child was a great sleeper and still is, 10 years later.  He likes quiet, darkness and solitude.  He never slept well in a shared bedroom and was easily distracted by lights, sounds and toys in his room. 
    • My anxious second child has always suffered from sleep disruptions and needs quite a bit of intervention in order to fall sleep, including the use of night lights and white noise. 
    • My easy-going third child can sleep anywhere without problem, as long as she has her special bunny. 

Baby led sleep training methods mean following your baby’s sleep cues and letting them show you how and when they prefer to sleep.  This can require a lot of patience and may mean more night-time waking, but many parents are up for that challenge.  You can also expect a baby-led routine to change several times as they grow and develop different needs. 

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Parent-Led Sleep Training

Sleep training methods that have more structure and routine are considered parent-led methods.  Many are based on adjusting baby’s instinctual sleep habits in order to make it work for a parent’s lifestyle.  And these are the ones that moms often feel shamed for, or feel the need to shame others.

Sleep training is not selfish. 

Most parents choose to do it because that’s what works for their family.  Mothers suffering from postpartum depression or anxiety in particular may need that added structure.  Sleep deprivation can be a big trigger for mental health issues and therefore, a routinely sleeping baby is a necessity.  Sleep training a new baby can also help avoid sleep disruption for other children in the home.

Sleep training isn’t cruel, either. 

(At least, it shouldn’t be if done correctly.)  While I am not a sleep training expert, I do firmly believe that leaving a baby to cry alone by themselves does not teach them how to sleep or self-soothe.  Crying is a baby’s way of communicating and we should never take that for granted.  But sometimes, a baby cries because they feel overstimulated or overtired and need some space, so holding or rocking them is not always the solution.

Parent-led sleep training methods can require a lot of consistency and a certain level of self-discipline.  Creating a strict bedtime routine for a baby means committing to doing it for years to come, but some parents are willing to make that sacrifice in exchange for a better night’s sleep.

How to Start Sleep Training The Moment You Bring Baby Home
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Stick with One or The Other

A mistake most parents make is beginning with a baby led sleep approach and then trying to switch to parent led sleep training when the child is older.  Of course there will be tears and baby will put up a fight, because change can be difficult for everyone.  So if you plan on letting baby take the lead right from the start, then expect to follow through on that.  Or you can start incorporating a more structured bedtime routine as a gradual process. 

If you do plan on sleep training your baby, then try to start from the moment you bring your baby home.  Obviously, your newborn isn’t going to start sleeping straight through the night, but remember, that’s not what sleep training is about.  There are several things you can do to ensure they develop a good routine and sleeping habits.  This way, you don’t need to worry about making drastic changes to their routine as they grow.  

There is No Shame in Needing Help

If your baby isn’t sleeping no matter what you’ve tried, that doesn’t make you a failure.  When it comes to sleep training, there is a lot of advice out there but there is no manual or one tried and true method.  

Thankfully, there are professional baby sleep training consultants available.  I have personally used and would recommend the Baby Sleep Site (read about my personal experience with them here).  Trained professionals take into account your family life, other children’s schedules and your own health and well being to create a routine that works for you.  They’ve dealt with the various sleep habits of thousands of different babies and have the experience to help you.  Sleep training can be stressful, so it’s good to have some support and guidance along the way. 

Since May is Maternal Mental Health Month, use the code MOMS20 to get $10 off one The Baby Sleep Site’s VIP Membership Packages
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Quit the Shaming!

Motherhood is not black and white and when it comes to sleep training, there is a lot of grey area.  Ultimately, what works for one family, or one baby, will not work for everyone.  So let’s quit with the mom shaming about sleep training.  Moms who sleep train are not being cruel or selfish.  And moms who follow their baby’s lead are not spoiling them.  All moms are doing what they feel is best for their baby, themselves and their families and that’s the only thing that truly matters.


How to Protect Your Sleep During Daylight Savings Time

Daylight savings time can be a mother’s worst nightmare.

Daylight savings time begins on the second Sunday in March and ends on the first Sunday in November.  This all sounds well and good for most people, after all, it’s just a one hour difference.  But if you have little ones on a strict bedtime schedule, or if your mental health suffers from changes in your routine or sleep pattern, it can be a difficult time of the year to manage. 

Here are a few tips on how to protect your sleep during daylight savings time.
How to Protect Your Sleep During Daylight Savings Time
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust. Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.
Daylight Savings Time Infographic

Be Prepared

Yes, it’s just an hour.  For many people, it doesn’t even make a difference in their lives.  But for young children, it can mean some trouble adjusting to the change for a few days, if not longer.  This can disrupt mom’s sleep patterns as well, which is bad news if she suffers from postpartum depression or anxiety.  Sleep deprivation can be a big trigger for those suffering from a mental health disorder. 

If you’re worried about your sleep being disrupted, then try to prepare yourself ahead of time.  Don’t over-schedule yourself the weekend that daylight savings time changes and try to get in some extra rest.  If you’re concerned about your child’s sleeping habits, then consider consulting with a baby sleep training expert for advice.

Go to Bed Early

Technically the time changes at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning, but it’s a common practice to change all the clocks back before going to bed on Saturday night.  Whether you’re losing or gaining an hour, consider going to bed early that Saturday night to ensure that you get enough sleep no matter what time you wake up.

Take the Weekend Off

Thankfully, daylight savings time changes on a weekend so you don’t need to worry about school or work schedules.  If you can, try to limit any scheduled or time-constricted activities.  It’s a great time to plan a cozy hygge weekend or a family movie marathon where you’re sure to lose track of time anyway.  And who knows, maybe planning a relaxing weekend when the time changes could become a favorite family tradition!

Hygge Lifestyle
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Make the Change Gradually

There is no rule that says the hour has to be changed all at once.  One way to make the daylight savings time change seem less drastic is to change the clocks in smaller increments throughout the weekend.  Start by changing your clocks in 15 minute intervals on Saturday morning and evening and then again on Sunday.  The smaller the change, the less your body and mind will notice it.

Change the Clocks in the Middle of the Afternoon

Another alternative to help protect your sleep is to change the clocks in the middle of the afternoon instead of at bedtime.  This is a great option, especially for children, because the afternoon hours can usually slip by quickly when we’re busy having fun.  This will also ensure less disruption to your child’s bedtime routine and help you sleep better as well. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder
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Try to Embrace it

When it comes to daylight savings time, it’s best to just not make a big deal out of it.  Worrying or focusing too much on it can cause a lot of disruption.  It can cause anxiety for moms who need every bit of undisturbed sleep they can get.  Knowing that daylight savings time is coming can also contribute to symptoms of depression, including seasonal affective disorder.  Instead of worrying about it, try to be mindful of the time change.  Pay close attention to the changes in nature and embrace the opportunity to adjust your routine for the winter season.


Prior to having children or dealing with a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, you probably never thought much about daylight savings time other than being on time for something important.  With most smartphones automatically updating the time, you may even completely forget about it until you wake up Sunday morning confused about what time it REALLY is.   Often, we don’t experience the repercussions of the time change until after the fact.  So protect your sleep this season and be ready for it!