With the variety of different online resources available to moms with postpartum depression and/or anxiety, how do you know which one is the right choice for you?
Thanks to the internet, moms suffering from a postpartum mood disorder can find help from the comfort of their own homes. From their cell phone or computer they can quickly and easily get in touch with someone who understands their situation and can offer advice and counseling. It might be a game changer for the mental health community but is online therapy the right choice for moms with postpartum depression or anxiety?
One company, eVideo Counselor, is looking to make sure of it. Their success in helping veterans with PTSD and substance abuse patients find hope again, has led them to reach out to the maternal mental health community. I had an opportunity to check out their services for myself and discovered just how beneficial their services can be for moms with postpartum depression.
Here are some tips to help you figure out if this is the right choice for you.
Finding The Right Therapist
Moms are nothing if not thorough. When we got pregnant, we made sure to find the right doctor to deliver our baby and the right pediatrician to take care of them. And by “right” I mean someone that we trusted, were comfortable with and could talk openly to. So it’s a no-brainer that we look for the same qualities in a therapist.
One of the biggest hesitations that moms have when it comes to online therapy is who their therapist will be. How can we trust this person on the other end of the screen who could be who-knows-where? Will it be awkward? Do they have real credentials? Is this all a scam?
Thankfully, eVideo Counselor has taken away that uncertainty by guaranteeing that their counselors are all well trained and licensed, undergo thorough background checks and are consistently monitored to ensure high-performance.
Most importantly, their video conferencing sessions make sure that you get the personalized face to face contact that a mom with postpartum depression so desperately needs. Your therapist will be able to read your body language and facial expressions in order to understand all the things that you want to say but just don’t know how to. At first, it might feel a little bit awkward. But eventually, video conferencing with your therapist will feel no different than meeting with them in person.
All eVideo Counselor sessions are also HIPAA compliant, which means you can speak freely and openly with your therapist and know that everything you say is private and confidential.
What If It Doesn’t Work?
Therapy does not work for everyone. And sometimes it does work, without you even realizing it. At my very first therapy session nearly 7 years ago, all I did was cry for the entire hour. I felt like I had wasted everyone’s time. Little did I know, having a safe place to let all my emotions go was exactly what I needed. It was part of the healing process and put me on the path to recovery.
One of the best things that eVideo Counselor offers is a system for measuring whether or not online therapy is working for you.
Prior to beginning online therapy with an eVideo Counselor, you’ll be given a short online questionnaire. This is similar to the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) that is normally used by doctors and care providers in the first few weeks postpartum, but more detailed. You will also be asked the same questionnaire halfway through your therapy sessions and at the end, to see how your answers have changed.
There are additional and more extensive tests offered as well, but this system of metrics offers something that mothers with a postpartum mood disorder desperately need – validation.
The tests can determine whether you are suffering from clinical postpartum depression or anxiety, or a combination of the two. For mothers who aren’t 100% certain of their diagnosis, or who might still be in denial about what they’re feeling, this is a huge benefit and step in the right direction.
Your therapist will also go over your test results with you in detail. This additional step is unlike anything offered by a doctor’s office. Explaining why and how you answered the questions the way you did will give your therapist a better idea of how to care for you. They will also explain the significance of the questions and provide you with a plan on how to manage your symptoms.
Getting Your Doctor Involved
A legitimate company that wants to help you find healing and success will want to involve all aspects of your healthcare. Mental illness can cause a combination of physical and psychological symptoms. It’s important to have a team of medical professionals working together to provide you with the best care possible.
eVideo Counselor has already thought of that and makes it possible for your therapist to coordinate with your healthcare provider. This additional service means there won’t be any surprises when you go into your doctor’s office, and you won’t have to repeat everything over and over again.
This care co-ordination service is something that can help put an end to stories like Jessica Porten’s (a.k.a. the mom who had the cops called on her when she went to the hospital seeking help for postpartum depression). Having a licensed therapist vouch for your symptoms, plus have the test results to show for it, can make a difference in how you will be treated by the medical system.
There is a lot of fear and stigma around maternal mental health, which is one of the main reasons why mothers don’t speak up about postpartum depression. Online therapy offers services that can help break down those barriers and encourage mothers to feel confident enough to speak up.
In addition to the more common benefits of online therapy, such as convenient scheduling, anonymity and cost, eVideo Counselor offers extra perks that make therapy sessions more well-rounded. Because of this, they have lower no-show rates and higher success rates.
But the truth is, if you really want to know if online therapy is the right choice for you, you need to try it out yourself.
All it takes is a few short steps to get started with an eVideo Counselor right now. Click here to begin.
Scary and intrusive thoughts are a common symptom of postpartum depression.
Intrusive thoughts lead many women to believe that they are terrible people, unfit mothers or a danger to their children. While many women experience them in some form, they don’t always recognize that they are intrusive or involuntary. Instead, they believe that the thoughts are how they truly feel, or what they are thinking subconsciously. They don’t talk about them for fear of what others will think of them.
It’s important to speak up about intrusive thoughts, but before a woman can do that – she needs to understand what they are, where they come from and what they mean. This is the only way she will be able to accept that the thoughts she is having are not who she has become, but rather, a side effect of her mental illness.
Here is some more information about intrusive thoughts.
What are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are an idea or image that come to your mind involuntarily. The thoughts may be extremely out-of-character and can be shocking when they happen. They are almost exactly the same as the thoughts and images that you normally have, except that they are not created nor welcomed by you. Intrusive thoughts are a sign of mental illness and prove that your mind is playing tricks on you.
What are NOT Intrusive Thoughts?
- They are not hallucinations
- They are not third party voices in your head
- They are not an indication of postpartum psychosis
- They are not subconscious thoughts or images
- They are not part of your normal train of thought
- They are not how you truly feel deep down inside
Types of Intrusive Thoughts
The most common type of postpartum intrusive thoughts are of doing something bad to the baby. They can be “what if…” type of thoughts such as “what if I drop my baby down the stairs” or “what if I stab my baby with a knife.” They can also come in the form of intrusive images such as watching the baby drown in the bathtub or crashing the car with the baby in the backseat.
Intrusive thoughts can also be about harming yourself. Many women experience suicidal thoughts but have no actual desire to commit suicide. Postpartum depression can cause women to experience thoughts of running away, jumping out of a moving car or falling asleep and never waking up again. Intrusive thoughts often make a woman believe she is unfit to be a mother and that her children would be better off without her.
Another type of intrusive thought includes harming a spouse or another loved one. It’s normal to complain about the annoying things a spouse does and imagine doing something bad to them, but when it affects your relationship or comes out of nowhere it could be an intrusive thought. Postpartum depression, and especially postpartum rage, are often misdirected towards spouses and partners – making a woman believe that she really does hate her husband. Add in intrusive thoughts like running them over with the car and it’s a relationship nightmare…
Some intrusive thoughts are inappropriate and violent. Many can be sexual in nature or include things like harming animals, behaving violently or setting the house on fire.
Basically, any thought or image that enters your head that feels scary and unnatural is considered an intrusive thought.
The Danger of Intrusive Thoughts
Thoughts and images alone are not dangerous. But intrusive thoughts can cause several unwanted side effects that can become dangerous both physically and mentally.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Intrusive thoughts can cause a woman to develop postpartum OCD and become obsessed with certain thoughts and images. If she imagines the baby dying in their sleep, she may stop sleeping in order to check on baby several times through the night.
Stress and Anxiety. Knowing that intrusive thoughts are a possibility is a big source of stress and anxiety, which can worsen symptoms of postpartum depression. Intrusive thoughts can also cause panic attacks and other physical symptoms.
Acting on Intrusive Thoughts. It’s rare that a woman would go so far as to act on her intrusive thoughts but the danger that she might still exists. Being unable to recognize the difference between intrusive thoughts and reality can signal something worse (like postpartum psychosis). If you feel a strong urge to act on your intrusive thoughts, make sure to speak to your doctor immediately.
Stigmatizing. Intrusive thoughts play a major role in the stigma of postpartum depression. Many mothers who try to open up about them are treated like crazy people or seen as dangerous and suicidal. If intrusive thoughts are confessed to someone without enough knowledge about them (even a medical professional), the consequences could be devastating. Its important to find a safe place to discuss intrusive thoughts.
The Truth About Intrusive Thoughts
The truth is, they are not real. They may stem from the feelings of inadequacy or overwhelm caused by postpartum depression but they are not part of the subconscious mind. They are a figment of your imagination and a by-product of mental illness. In order to eliminate them, and avoid having them control your life, you need to accept that they are coming from somewhere else, and not from what’s within your heart.
How to Get Rid of Them
As long as a woman is suffering from a mental illness, the intrusive thoughts will always be a possibility. So the only way to eliminate them altogether is to treat the underlying condition. There are still several things a person can do to keep intrusive thoughts from affecting their lives.
Document Them. Writing down scary thoughts as they happen can help make them less frightening. You can write them on paper, in a journal or workbook, on your phone or use an app. If you really want to take a stand and connect with other women who are having them, you could even consider blogging about them.
Release Them. Intrusive thoughts are perhaps one of the hardest things to speak out loud when battling postpartum depression. Many people are not nearly as informed about intrusive thoughts as they should be, and this makes talking openly about them risky. The best place to express the scary thoughts you’re having is to find a safe and positive space, such as a support group. The Postpartum Stress Center offers a safe place online for women to anonymously #SpeaktheSecret. It helps to read some of the thoughts other women have had, and even submit your own to release them from your mind.
Online Therapy. Speaking to a mental health professional is always a good course of action for women battling intrusive thoughts. With online therapy, you have the option to chat with your therapist anytime throughout the day, as opposed to waiting for a scheduled appointment. This is a great option to be able to discuss scary thoughts as they occur. (If this is an option you’d like to explore, try online therapy using my affiliate link: https://runningintriangles.com/OnlineTherapy).
Meditation. Clearing the mind on a daily basis can help reduce the instances of intrusive thoughts. Meditation can also help to create mindfulness in general, making you feel a little bit more in control of the thoughts and images in your own head. Meditation, either alone or while doing yoga, should become an important part of your self-care routine for battling postpartum depression and intrusive thoughts.
Positive Imagery. Surround yourself with sights that make you feel happy. You can put together a photo album of some of your happiest photos and look at it regularly. Or keep flowers and plants in your home. Hang motivational posters or family photos on the walls. Subconsciously, your mind will soak up all the beauty around you and be a happier place.
Get Enough Sleep. Sleep deprivation is known for causing all kinds of problems in new mothers. A lack of sleep is like leaving the door wide open for scary thoughts. Try changing around your bedtime routine, invest in a better mattress or look into other ways to fight off insomnia.
Distraction. Keeping the mind distracted will allow less time for scary thoughts to creep in. Music is an excellent way to keep the mind distracted. Try playing music in the background while you’re home, call or visit with a friend, read a book or put on the television. Maintaining a proper self-care routine can also help keep intrusive thoughts away.
The most important factor in dealing with intrusive thoughts is to know the difference between your actual thoughts and the unwanted ones.
Having frightening thoughts may make you feel like a bad mother with the potential to do something harmful but it’s not the truth. Focus on the positive thoughts and try your best to ignore the ones that make you feel anything but joy. Accept that they are a side effect of postpartum depression and not who you have become. It may take a while for the thoughts and images to go away, but as long as you remember that you are still you inside, you can defeat them.