parenting advice Archives - Running in Triangles

Common Parenting Styles and How To Choose the One for You

There are many different parenting styles to choose from. Some of the most common parenting styles include authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and overprotective. Educating yourself on the various parenting styles is wise when you’re becoming a mom.

Authoritarian Style

The first style is parent-driven, with strict rules and punishments. This form of parenting is generally a one-way communication structure. Usually, the parent enforces the rules, with little input from the child. These parents have high expectations for their children and limited flexibility.

Children with authoritarian parents are typically well-behaved because of the consequences they might face for bad behavior. These children are more likely to listen to directions, but they could also show signs of aggression and find themselves unable to make their own decisions later.

Permissive Style

The second common parenting style is the opposite of authoritarian. This style is more child-driven and encourages the child to develop their own solutions and conclusions. Communication stays open between parent and child, but with more input from the child.

There are usually no expectations of the child, and the parent remains warm and nurturing. Permissive parents use the tactic of acting more like a friend than a parent. Kids with permissive parents have great self-esteem, but they could develop unhealthy habits from a lack of structure.

Authoritative Style

Authoritative parenting is a more commonly used style with many benefits. These parents remain the authority figures, but they allow for more input from the child. Rules are thoroughly explained, and communication is frequent and appropriate to the child’s age.

Parents that choose this style still use disciplinary actions, but these actions are used for support instead of punishment. A style such as authoritative parenting may require more patience, but the outcomes can be more rewarding. Children with parents under this style tend to be more confident and responsible.

Overprotective Style

Lastly, this parenting style mainly relies on the fear of something happening to your child. These parents constantly monitor their child’s every action. The parent often does not choose this style; it mostly chooses them.

Overprotective parents will limit the child’s activities and fixate on every decision the child makes. In most cases, the parent must learn to avoid being an overprotective parent. These children will probably develop attachment issues, but they have tremendous street-smart skills.

Which Parenting Styles Suit You?

Parenting does not have to be linear, nor does the style. Often, parents will choose aspects from many different types of styles and roll them into one. It’s okay to start with permissive parenting and then implement authoritative parenting later down the road.

Much of the time, parenting comes naturally. Making a conscious decision to change is a mighty feat. Always keep in mind the temperament of your child and the relationship you wish to have with them, and the rest will figure itself out. It’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

Author Bio

Christina Duron is a writer living in the Chicagoland area. Her passion for writing and mental health help create thought provoking and engaging pieces and hopes to use them to empower mothers and women to embrace the beauty of motherhood.

How To Be a Positive Influence on Your Child

Whether you just found out you’re pregnant or you’re already taking care of your newborn, it’s never too early to start considering what kind of positive influence you will be for your kid. Are you going to be a supermom who never shows any weakness in the midst of turmoil, or are you going to be more open and honest with your kids, no matter the consequences? Ultimately, the choice is up to you, as long as you take their wellbeing into account when making your decision.

Regardless of the type of mom you choose to be, there are certain aspects of your kid’s life that your actions will heavily influence. That’s why it’s good to be prepared and know how to be a positive influence on your child. That way, they grow up into the young adult you want them to become.

Act in the Way You Want Them To Act

Whether they want to or not, your kids are going to act the way you do—it’s human nature, after all. At a young age, they start noticing the things you do, and since you’re one of the most influential people they have in their life, they’ll look to you as an example of what to be. There’s a reason why you see young kids who are needlessly opinionated on topics they shouldn’t know anything about: they learned it from their parents.

In a better example, suppose you want your kid to stay fit as they get older to improve their overall health. There are plenty of ways to convince them to exercise, but none of them will stick if you’re lounging around on the couch while they’re outside riding their bike. Instead, get out there with them and go on a bike ride through the neighborhood together.

Include Your Child When Making Decisions for Them

Remember when you were a child—nothing was quite as horrible as your parents telling you that you weren’t allowed to do something, especially when they didn’t talk to you first. Avoid doing this with your own kid. Granted, you still need to make the decisions for them, but including them in the conversation and listening to what they have to say can change how they react when you tell them they can’t do the activity in question, especially if you explain why afterward.

Also, don’t be afraid to admit when you were wrong about a decision. Nobody can be right all the time, and the sooner your kid understands that the sooner they will learn to admit their mistakes when they make a bad choice in the future.

Use Positivity

The best tip on how to be a positive influence on your child is to simply be positive. Of course, we know you can’t act that way all of the time. Sometimes bad things happen, and you need to release some grief or frustration. However, having an overall positive demeanor with your kids can go a long way when shaping who they’ll become.

If you are constantly a bad influence on your child, don’t act surprised if they start acting badly when they get older. As we mentioned in our first point, they likely learned that behavior from you, so be careful with the decisions you make—because so many of them influence your child.