Tag: symptoms of postpartum depression

11 Alarming Ways Postpartum Depression Affects a Mother’s Health 

Postpartum depression affects a mother’s health in so many ways.  It’s not simply a phase that a lot of new mothers go through. It’s a serious condition that needs prompt attention, support, and treatment. When uncared for, mothers with this condition can experience a plethora of health symptoms—physically, psychologically, and socially. 

Here, we discuss the common signs and symptoms one in eight mothers go through due to postpartum depression. For those who are experiencing any of these symptoms, seek immediate professional care.

11 Alarming Ways Postpartum Depression Affects a Mother's Health
*This is a guest post and all opinions are those of the author. This post may also contain affiliate and/or paid links. Rest assured that we only work with companies and individuals that we trust. While some of those companies and individuals may work in the medical field, this post is not intended to be a substitution for medical advice. Always speak to your doctor if you have concerns about your mental or physical health.
11 Alarming Ways Postpartum Depression Affects a Mother's Health
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Fatigue and Lethargy

The first few months after giving birth can be some of the most exhausting periods in a new mom’s life. They often need to stay up all night to feed the baby and cope with the new setup at home. While fatigue can feel normal for these new mothers, it’s also a potential symptom of postpartum depression. 

Lethargy often gets the best of many people, especially for mothers of newborns. They can feel tired, exhausted, and weary all the time. Nothing can seem to lift their energy. When this happens, spouses should offer help any way they can.

Unexplained Pain and Body Aches 

The body can go through a lot throughout pregnancy and after giving birth as it returns to its non-pregnant state. This includes getting heartburn and constipation. However, this only often occurs within the postpartum period of three months after delivery. Causing pain long after delivery is another way that postpartum depression affects a mother’s health.

For new mothers who experience unexplained stomach pain or headaches, it’s best to get plenty of rest and consult their doctor on the best course of action to take. 

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Lack of Appetite 

People with depression may find themselves uninterested in eating. This loss of appetite is also one of the reasons they experience other symptoms, such as weakness and fatigue. Since these new mothers lack the proper nutrition, they may get too tired or exhausted to care for their babies. Eventually, it can deteriorate their physical and mental health. 

While babies still get the best nutrition from breast milk, it’s the mothers with postpartum depression that take the blow with this debilitating symptom. 

Urinary Incontinence 

Urinary incontinence, or difficulty in controlling the bladder, is a common health problem among women who have just given birth. This often occurs among those who’ve had a vaginal delivery. While this is normally a temporary problem as the pelvic floor muscles go through the process of recovering, this isn’t the case for some women. 

Long-term postpartum urinary incontinence can contribute to other health-related concerns, such as fatigue, back pain, and depressive symptoms. 

The last thing these mothers need is to feel more down in having to wear bulky adult diapers. There are incontinence undergarments for women that look and feel like regular underwear but have great absorbency. With these garments, they can feel both comfortable and confident wearing them.

Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Muscles with Perifit
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Excessive Sleeping 

It’s not news that mothers of newborns get sleep deprived for months. Babies need round-the-clock attention, from feeding them to putting them to sleep without making a fuss. With this, new mothers may not feel their best for the first few months postpartum. 

But if sleep deprivation becomes a persistent condition even three months after delivery, this could be a symptom of postpartum depression. 

It can be difficult to spot this condition, especially when many mothers consider lack of sleep as a normal part of motherhood. But if it already interferes with their way of life, then it may be high time to reach out for help.

Difficulty Focusing and Making Decisions

Early signs of depression among postpartum mothers include having trouble focusing and making decisions. This can start with being forgetful most of the time, not bothering to take a shower, or not knowing which chore to do at home. 

Oftentimes, suddenly forgetting something or losing your train of thought isn’t just the “mom brain” acting up. It can be a serious sign of postpartum depression, and one that needs proper medical attention right away. 

6 Warning Signs That it's More Than The Baby Blues
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Difficulty Bonding with the Newborn 

Women with postpartum depression may experience indifference toward their children. They may feel guilty about feeling disconnected from their baby when they shouldn’t. 

Mothers going through this disconcerting situation should understand that this doesn’t mean they’re bad mothers. This is a common symptom of postpartum depression, a clinical diagnosis that needs ample treatment. Otherwise, it could negatively affect the way they deliver care for their child.

Withdrawing from Others 

Postpartum depression affects a mother’s health by isolating them.  People with depression tend to isolate themselves from family and friends. For mothers experiencing this condition postpartum, they may often feel like nobody understands their current situation. Their natural course of action would be to withdraw from others and keep their “depressing” thoughts to themselves. 

When a loved one seems to isolate themselves, it doesn’t hurt to be the one to reach out to them. You may not see it, but a simple act of asking them how they’re doing can make a difference. 

How to Talk About Postpartum Depression
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Feeling Unmotivated 

New mothers may feel unmotivated doing other things, especially when they’re so tired all the time. But if this feeling lingers for a couple of months after giving birth, there may be an underlying psychological cause. 

Women with postpartum depression may lose interest in doing the things they liked doing before giving birth. This may include watching their favorite TV shows, working out, or hanging out with their partner. This sudden shift in mood and habits is something to watch out for. 

Postpartum Psychosis 

When left untreated, postpartum depression may lead to postpartum psychosis. While it’s a rare condition that only occurs in 1 out of 1,000 deliveries, it’s a serious illness that requires immediate medical care. 

Mothers with postpartum psychosis experience a break in reality. This means they start having delusions or hallucinations. They tend to get irritable or hyperactive and get rapid mood swings most of the time. 

This may be caused by a family history of bipolar disorder. It’s also possible that these women have had a previous psychotic episode, even before their delivery. 
10 Mothers Who Lost the Battle to Postpartum Depression

Suicidal Thoughts 

Thoughts of hurting themselves or their baby aren’t new when it comes to postpartum depression. Spouses or family members need to spot such signs right away to keep the mother and the baby safe. Postpartum depression affects a mother’s health in such a severe way that often suicide feels like the only way out. 

It’s a medical emergency, and it’s imperative to seek medical attention the moment they spot the signs. 

Helping a Mother With Postpartum Depression 

People can pass a ton of judgments on new mothers when that’s the last thing they need during such an overwhelming phase of their lives. The best thing for family and friends to do to help women with postpartum depression is to listen and lend a helping hand when they need it. 

Of course, it’s always best to suggest seeking professional help so they can get proper treatment early on.

14 Ways to Help A Mother with Postpartum Depression
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Author Bio

Kimberly Hatcher works with LL Medico and supports Women’s Health by providing information and resources, particularly for postpartum mothers who want to achieve their health and well-being goals.

How to Support a Loved One with Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a psychological condition wherein new mothers experience negative feelings after giving birth, as opposed to the happiness and excitement that one might expect. Fortunately, postpartum depression is treatable, and if you know someone going through this condition, there are many ways you can help.

How to Support a Loved One with Postpartum Depression
*This is a collaborative post and may contain affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust.
How to Support a Loved One with Postpartum Depression

But first, how do you know if your friend or family member is suffering from postpartum depression? Here are the symptoms of PPD to look out for:

Symptoms of PPD

As opposed to ‘baby blues,’ which lasts from a few days to a couple of weeks in new moms, postpartum depression causes more intense and long-lasting symptoms, such as:

When left untreated, postpartum depression can last for many months or even longer. Over time, this condition can affect the mother’s physical health, mental health, and relationships with family and friends, especially their child.

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If you want to help a loved one with PPD, here are different ways you can support them:

How to support a mom with PPD

1. Bring a gift

Although a gift won’t magically solve a new mom’s PPD, it can help give them at least a bit of happiness during this trying time. When you visit them, bring a gift that they can use for their hobby, such as a half square triangle ruler, or bring them their favorite food. As long as there is a possibility that the gift will bring a smile to their face, it doesn’t matter how small it is.

Gifts for Mothers with Postpartum Depression
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2. Focus on her

After a woman gives birth, the people around her tend to focus most (if not all) of their attention on the baby. This is not to be malicious, but the excitement of a new arrival usually overshadows the mother’s well-being after giving birth. So when you visit your loved one, make the conversation about her, not about the baby. Ask her about her day. Let her know that she is not forgotten. And most importantly, listen to what she has to say.

3. Offer to help

Postpartum depression can make mothers feel utterly exhausted, even when they aren’t doing anything physically taxing. As a result, household chores remain undone, and the errand list keeps getting longer. Offering to do a chore around the house or run an errand for them can help ease the burden on their shoulders, even by just a bit, so be sure to offer anytime you can.

14 Ways to Help A Mother with Postpartum Depression
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4. Give her space

It’s essential to be there for a loved one suffering from PDD, but sometimes you have to pull back and give them space. At times, mothers with postpartum depression need time alone to process their feelings and acknowledge their thoughts in silence. This is especially important during the first few weeks after the baby arrives, wherein everybody wants to see the baby and a million things need to be done in the house.

5. Don’t invalidate her feelings

Instead of saying, “You will be a great mom, you don’t have to worry,” when a new mother voices their concerns, use phrases such as “I understand how you are feeling that way” or “That sounds difficult.” By echoing their concerns instead of disputing them, you help make them feel validated in their feelings, which, in turn, can help reduce guilt and anxiety associated with PDD.

This is What Happens When Someone Incredible Gets Postpartum Depression
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6. Share your own story

If you have experienced (or are experiencing) PDD or non-pregnancy-related depression and anxiety, ask them if they want to hear about your story. When a woman hears that another person close to them is going through or has gone through the same thing, it can provide them the comfort that they need to push forward.

7. Accompany her to doctor’s appointments

Prompt treatment of postpartum depression is essential. To provide your support, offer to accompany them during their appointments if their spouse or partner cannot make it.

What to do if you think you have postpartum depression
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If you want to support a mother suffering from postpartum depression, be specific about what you want to help with. Instead of saying, “I’m here if you need me,” which can be very vague, offer to help with specific tasks, such as doing the grocery shopping, babysitting, or doing the laundry. In any case, every bit of help you give can make it easier for your loved one to recover.

Can you think of other ways to help a mom with PPD? Leave your suggestions in the comments below.

What Was The Worst Symptom of Postpartum Depression For You?

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How Long Has it Been Since Your Postpartum Depression First Started?

Continue reading “How Long Has it Been Since Your Postpartum Depression First Started?”

How Did You Know That You Had Postpartum Depression?

Continue reading “How Did You Know That You Had Postpartum Depression?”

13 Things About Postpartum Depression All New Moms Need to Know

With more and more information about postpartum depression readily available to new moms, will they take the time to read it?

When I was an expectant first time mom, I knew very little about postpartum depression.  It was surprising because, as a researcher by nature, I wanted to know about every possible complication I could get.  But I scoffed at the thought of getting postpartum depression.  In my mind, mental illness was for the weak.  And even if I did get it, I would never let it get the best of me – I was a strong, positive, confident person.

But I horrifically underestimated the power of postpartum depression. 

Ultimately, it did get the best of me and it’s a battle that I still fight to this very day.  I sadly regret not taking the time to learn more about maternal mental health and postpartum depression 10 years ago when I had the chance.  So now I  urge all new mothers, expectant mothers, first, second, third time mothers, to read as much information about postpartum depression as they can find, even if you doubt that you’ll get it.

Here are some specific things about postpartum depression that I wish I had known.
13 Things About Postpartum Depression All New Moms Need to Know
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust. Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.
13 Things About Postpartum Depression All New Moms Need to Know 13 Things About Postpartum Depression All New Moms Need to Know

1. You don’t need to have a history of mental illness in order to get it.

One of the biggest misconceptions about postpartum depression is that it can only occur if you have a history of mental illness.  But because there is no clear reason why women get postpartum depression, this is not a fact we can rely heavily on.  This means that you could get postpartum depression even if you’ve never dealt with mental illness before and have no family history of it.

Another thing to take into consideration is the silent struggle of mental illness.  It’s likely you DO have a family history of mental illness but it was never, ever spoken of.  If we think the stigma of mental illness is an epidemic now, imagine what it was like 40 years ago, or more.

Ruling out postpartum depression based solely on the fact that you have no history of mental illness is not a guarantee that you will not get it.

This is What Happens When Someone Incredible Gets Postpartum Depression
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2. You can get it even if you have zero risk factors.

Some of the risk factors for postpartum depression include:
    • A personal history of mental illness (depression, anxiety, bi-polar, etc.)
    • A family history of mental illness
    • An unplanned pregnancy
    • A difficult pregnancy
    • A stressful experience surrounding pregnancy or childbirth (infertility, miscarriage, premature labor, complications, special needs baby, etc.)
    • A traumatic labor and delivery
    • Childhood trauma
    • A history of domestic violence or sexual abuse
    • Stress (including financial or marital stress)
    • Lack of a proper support system
    • Difficulties caring for baby (postpartum complications, breastfeeding problems, colic, etc.)

The list is long but basically it says that if you experience anything other than a “perfect” journey into motherhood, you’re at risk of getting postpartum depression.  So let’s take a long shot and say that everything, from the moment you conceived until your child’s first birthday, went exactly as you imagined and nothing terrible happened along the way…

You could still get it!

Again, no one knows exactly why women get postpartum depression.  Some theories say it has to do with a shift in the hormones – which would mean the risk factors actually have nothing to do with it at all.

Miscarriage: Moving on Doesn't Mean Forgetting
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3. It is not always triggered by trauma.

Trauma is a recurring theme on the list of risk factors because it plays a huge role in mental illness.  In fact, our first response when faced with postpartum depression is to think back to what traumatic experience could have caused this.

It’s important to know that trauma is not the only trigger of postpartum depression.  Mental illness tends to prey on the weak, and we are often at our weakest shortly after experiencing a life changing event such as becoming a mother.  Sleep deprivation, physical pain from labor, fears and anxiety and even the simple act of change can all trigger feelings of depression.

Cognitive behavior therapy is a great method to help figure out what is triggering the postpartum depression so that you can learn how to manage it.

Precipitous Labor
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4. It doesn’t necessarily start right after birth.

Making it through the first six weeks unscathed does not mean that you’re in the clear.   Symptoms of postpartum depression can show up anytime within the first year after giving birth.  Some women experience the highest of highs after giving birth and can ride it out for months.  This can make the drastic fall into postpartum depression that much more difficult.

Care for new mothers normally ends around six weeks postpartum.  So it’s not uncommon for symptoms of postpartum depression to show up after this point, when all the help and attention suddenly comes to a grinding halt.

One Year Postpartum & Still Depressed
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5. It’s likely you will experience some form of the baby blues.

It’s reported that 80% of new mothers suffer from the baby blues.  The fact that it IS so common can actually make postpartum depression harder to diagnose because many women and medical professionals have trouble telling the two apart.

There are some warning signs that could signal more than the baby blues.  Generally speaking, if it lasts longer than a few weeks, it could be postpartum depression.  This usually results in mothers being brushed off if they express any kind of concern about their mental health in the first few weeks postpartum.

While there’s no need to worry excessively that the baby blues will turn into something more – there are a few differences that you should keep an eye out for.

6 Warning Signs That it's More Than The Baby Blues
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6. The most common symptoms are not the only ones.

When we think of the word “depression” we often associate it with sadness.  But postpartum depression doesn’t always manifest as sadness.  It usually manifests as a feeling of “nothingness.”

Feeling nothing, empty, or numb, is one of the most significant symptoms of postpartum depression because it’s what drives all the other symptoms. Being numb makes us feel fatigued and unable to do the most basic of tasks.  We don’t want to go out anywhere or do anything.  We don’t feel the urge to eat or sleep or laugh.  We may not feel happy, but neither do we feel sad.

Postpartum depression can also cause a variety of different physical symptoms.  Normally we don’t associate physical symptoms with mental illness and so we turn into hypochondriacs trying to find the cause of our physical pain.

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7. It can show up as anxiety, or a combination of depression and anxiety.

Now here’s the real tricky part that always seems to confuse new mothers.  Anxiety.  When looking at a list of postpartum depression symptoms, the symptoms of anxiety and those of depression tend to be lumped together, making it even harder to know what it is you’re dealing with.

A new mother can experience anxiety in combination with postpartum depression, which means that all of that emptiness is replaced with a constant state of fear and worry.  It’s the kind of worry that keeps you up at night.  Things that never seemed to bother you much before now feel like the biggest threats.  You imagine horrible scenarios in your head and do things to prevent them from happening, as far-fetched as they might seem.

Some new mothers deal with anxiety without the depression, in which case, they are not numb to all the normal emotions of motherhood but worry just the same.  Anxiety is a dangerous mental health disorder that can open the door to intrusive thoughts, rage and obsessive compulsive disorder.

Everything You Need to Know About Postpartum Anxiety
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8. Your spouse or partner may be the first to notice that something is wrong.

The people who know you best will notice a change in you before you realize it yourself.  They may not tell you that they notice it, depending on your relationship, but they’ll know.  It’s kind of hard to live that closely with someone and not be able to spot that something just isn’t right.

Part of the responsibility of your spouse, partner, baby’s father, etc., is to help you through this postpartum period and recognizing the signs of postpartum depression falls into that category.  Even if they don’t know exactly what’s wrong, they should speak up if they think you’re acting differently.

Try not to be offended or act defensively when someone you love says you might have postpartum depression.  Approaching the subject of mental health is a hard task and the fact that they’ve said anything at all means they’re truly trying to help.

Know someone suffering from addiction due to postpartum depression?  Here’s a list of resources for friends and family who want to help.

To The Husbands of the Women with Postpartum Depression
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9. There is no shame in admitting that you have it.

Mental illness is so stigmatized that women who are suffering from a valid, medical, postpartum complication are afraid to tell anyone.  They believe that battling a mental illness makes them look weak, when in fact, the opposite is true.

Warriors are working hard to end the stigma around maternal mental health, but until then, all we can do is educate others.  The more people know about postpartum depression, the less shame there will be for those who carry the burden.

The Danger of the Fake It Till You Make It Advice for Postpartum Depression
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10. While there is no cure,  it is treatable.

Once it’s triggered, postpartum depression lingers around like the annoying friend who’s overstayed their welcome.  With treatment, and a little extra work, it is entirely manageable.

First off, mothers with postpartum depression need to proactively take care of themselves.  They need to maintain their health and keep their stress level down.  Mental illness thrives in a toxic environment, so it’s important to stay positive, eat right, sleep well and be mindful.

Secondly, a form of professional treatment is a must.  This could be anti-depressant medication, cognitive behavior therapy, acupuncture, massage therapy, or hypnosis, to name a few.  There are treatment options that are all-natural and safe for breastfeeding, so that is not an excuse not to seek treatment.

Online Cognitive Behavior Therapy
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11. The best place to get help is from someone who understands maternal mental health.

When we hear of stories like Jessica Porten and Andrea Yates, the thought of talking to someone about postpartum depression is terrifying.  These women are being treated like criminals by supposed professionals.  And the public reaction to their “crimes” is even more disturbing.

That’s why it’s important to seek help from someone that you trust, and someone who understands the reality of postpartum depression.  A great place to start is Postpartum Support International.  You can call a helpline to get all kinds of information and support.

If you’re looking for more hands on help, talk to a postpartum doula who are trained specifically to help new mothers and recognize the symptoms of postpartum depression in it’s earliest stages.

6 Ways to Get Online Help for Postpartum Depression
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12. If left untreated, you will likely struggle with symptoms for the rest of your life.

Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide in the world.  Postpartum depression has claimed many lives and while it is a worst case scenario, it CAN happen to anyone.

Even if the symptoms go away for a while, there is always the risk of a relapse.  The only way to stay on top of the symptoms and win the battle against postpartum depression is by sticking to a treatment plan.

postpartum Depression Relapse
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13. It’s entirely possible that you may not get it all, but it’s better to be prepared.

I had three all-natural, drug free births, but that didn’t stop me from researching epidurals and c-sections.  I was thankful that I didn’t have either of them but I wanted to be prepared in the event that I did.  So why is postpartum depression any different?  It’s the most common complication of childbirth and yet no one seems to know anything about it.

There is no harm in researching postpartum depression prior to becoming a mother.  My hope is that you don’t get it, because I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.  But if you do, at least you’ll be prepared.

What to do if you think you have postpartum depression
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The Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression vs. No Postpartum Mood Disorder

I’ve given birth to three kids, experienced three similar pregnancies,  labored through three natural, drug-free births, but ended up with three very different postpartum recovery periods…

What’s the difference between the baby blues vs. postpartum depression?  It’s a question that many mothers have asked themselves because it’s hard to know for sure if you’re suffering from a maternal mental health disorder or not.

The baby blues is not an actual mental health disorder, but a common experience in the early days postpartum, however some women don’t experience it at all.  Postpartum depression is often explained away as a bad case of the baby blues when, in reality, it’s much more serious.

To help end some of the confusion, here’s what it felt like first hand.
The Baby Blues vs Postpartum Depression vs No Postpartum Mood Disorder
*This post contains affiliate and/or paid links which means that if you click on one of these links and buy a product, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. Rest assured that I only recommend products that I love from companies that I trust.  **Furthermore, I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. I am simply a mother who has been there and lived to tell the tale.

The Baby Blues

Shortly after the birth of my first child I experienced symptoms of what I believe were the common baby blues.  They didn’t last long and they didn’t disrupt my life (much).

The mood swings were my first indicator.  I remember watching my husband interact with the baby while our two dogs sat at his feet watching.  I thought about how the dogs had no idea how much life was changing and I instantly burst into tears.  I’m not usually a sensitive or emotional person so this was a sure sign to me that I was experiencing some type of hormonal imbalance. It was very similar to the mood swings I experienced during pregnancy. [Try tracking your moods with a printable mood tracker]

The sleep deprivation added to my emotional state.  The way someone would feel after staying up partying all night long (which may or may not be a familiar feeling for me *wink wink*).  I felt irritable and edgy but sleep, when I could get it, was welcome and helped to alleviate the stress. [Keep track of how much sleep you’re getting each night].

Precipitous Labor Recovery
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My brain was foggy and I was easily distracted. The “mom brain” was probably one of the hardest symptoms for me to manage as someone who prides themselves on having a great memory.  Suddenly I couldn’t multi-task because I would forget what I was doing in the first place.  I wrote down absolutely everything in a log book, significant or not, in a vain attempt to remember everything.

I felt an overwhelming urge to protect him and I worried a lot about everything he did.  I worried about holding him too much, or not enough.  I worried about the way others were holding him.  I worried about his diaper being put on properly.  I worried about such small and insignificant things (in addition to all the normal motherhood worrying like how much he was eating, pooping and sleeping). [Document your worries in a worry workbook]

6 Warning Signs That it's More Than The Baby Blues
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I didn’t bond with the baby as much as I thought I would.  I spent a lot of time talking to him but the lack of a response discouraged me.  I wasn’t absolutely head over heels in love with him the way motherhood is portrayed in the media, but I didn’t feel anything negative either.  I was just so tired and still adjusting to this new lifestyle.

We didn’t get out of the house much at first.  I was extremely overprotective of him and convinced that he would contract bad germs from strangers.  Aside from worrying, I honestly just didn’t feel like leaving the comfort of my own home.

Carseat "No Touching" Sign
Wish I had one of these signs from NikkiDanielDesigns on Etsy.ca

It eventually went away on it’s own.  Similar to a really bad case of PMS, I started to feel “normal” again.  I didn’t cry at the mere thought of something sad and I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and socialize.  By the time he was 2 months old he was smiling, making eye contact and interacting and I did fall head over heels in love with him.

Postpartum Depression

After the birth of my second child, things felt a little bit different.  That first baby that I didn’t bond with?  Well he was two years old now and the absolute center of my world.  So for the first couple months, things were monotonous and scheduled and boring – as long as the baby was concerned, at least.

She had basic needs and I didn’t try too hard to bond with her. I figured it would happen eventually, so I didn’t put too much pressure on myself this time.  The first two months after her birth were extremely busy in my social life so I didn’t have time to stew over the fact that life as I knew it had completely changed.

But when the dust settled and I was left at home, alone, with a toddler and a newborn who wouldn’t stop crying – things changed…
13 Things About Postpartum Depression All New Moms Need to Know
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I was tired and emotional but this time I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried.  Every time I closed my eyes I thought I heard the baby cry and got up to check on her.  Sometimes it was 15 times in an hour but I couldn’t stop myself because I knew the one time I didn’t check on her would be the time something bad happened.  If someone else offered to look after her while I took a nap, then I would lie in bed for 2 hours worrying if she was alright.

The mood swings were extreme and uncontrollable.  As the weeks went on, I started to despise her.  I blamed her for everything I was feeling.  She felt my negative feelings and cried harder and longer which made me dislike her even more.  But then I would think about how I’ve always wanted to have a daughter and I would suffocate her in love – until she started crying again.  The slightest things could send me into fits of rage and I got offended and jealous very easily.

Guide to Postpartum Rage
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I was terrified to leave the house with her.  I was certain she would cry and I wouldn’t be able to handle her and everyone would stare at me and think I was a horrible mother.  So I stayed in my house where no one could judge me.  I avoided contact with almost everyone.

And the worst part of all was that I lied about what I was feeling to everyone.  I felt humiliated and inadequate and worthless but I hid it the best I could.  I dressed the baby up in cute outfits and took cute pictures of her to post on social media.  I posted captions about how much I loved having a baby girl and how all of my dreams had come true but in reality I just wanted to rewind life to a time before she existed.

50 Reasons Why Moms Don't Talk About Postpartum Depression

The more I tried to “fix” things, the worse they got.  Even when I tried to “snap out of it” the baby was still reacting to my negative energy and crying all day and night.  My brain was full of terrible ways I could get her to shut up but instead I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for what seemed like hours.  The guilt eventually built up huge walls that closed in on me.  I even contemplated suicide.

For months I battled in silence, not knowing it was postpartum depression.  I kept waiting for this funk to pass, waiting for the “hormones to regulate” but they never did, not without help, that is.  Read more about my personal battle with postpartum depression here.

For more information about postpartum depression and other maternal mental health disorders, check out this comprehensive guide from Parenting Pod. If you need help with what you believe might be postpartum depression, you can speak to an online therapist from Better Help.  Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/

What to do if you think you have postpartum depression
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No Postpartum Mood Disorder

Considering I went to hell and back with my last baby, I must have been absolutely crazy to have another one, right?  The postpartum depression was forefront in my mind but this time I felt more prepared.  I knew what to look for, and I knew that I needed to speak up if I felt something was even a little bit off.

The first time she was placed in my arms, I felt it.  That immediate love that legends were made of.  I couldn’t wait to hold her and I didn’t want to do anything else except just stare at her perfect face.

The early days with her were peaceful and calm – despite the sleepless nights.  The other two children often played with each other and so I had her all to myself.  The fact that she couldn’t talk back to me actually made me want to spend MORE time with her!

Trying to balance three children was definitely a challenge, and extremely overwhelming at times, but instead of being afraid and nervous and frustrated –  I felt excited and determined to make the best of it!

How to Prepare for Another Baby after Postpartum Depression
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I felt like I could control my mood.  Even on days when she was extra fussy or I was extra tired, I always managed to stay calm and relaxed around her.  I never felt a sad or negative thought about her.  And she was a calm and relaxed baby because of it.

Initially I worried about how the older children would handle the new baby.  But they never once showed any signs of jealousy towards her and completely welcomed her into our family.  I cried more tears of joy in her first few months than I ever have in my life.

I worried about how much she ate, pooped and slept and whether she was hitting her milestones on time.  Mostly because I was always comparing her to the other children.  In an attempt to get things right this time, I asked a lot of questions, I sought a lot of help and I socialized as often as possible.

I took all three kids out as often as I could.  It was next to impossible to manage all of them in public (and it still is) but I sure didn’t want to get stuck inside the house with them!

The Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression vs. No Postpartum Mood Disorder
This popular chart has helped many women understand the difference in their symptoms but it is not all-inclusive as everyone experiences symptoms differently. Speak to your doctor if you have any concerns about what you are feeling.
*NEW: Download a Digital Print File of this infographic on Etsy!

When it comes to the baby blues vs. postpartum depression vs. no postpartum mood disorder, I can’t say for certain what factors affected these different outcomes.  It was only in hindsight that I was able to really identify the differences.  But regardless of my three experiences, I feel the same kind of love for all three of my children.  When I think about life with a newborn, I try my hardest to reflect on the happiness of my last one, but will never forget the darkness that came before.

The Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression vs. No Postpartum Mood Disorder
This popular chart has helped many women understand the differences, but it is not meant to be a replacement for an actual diagnosis as all women are different. Always talk to your doctor if you are concerned about your mental health.